Death Becomes Her
by Normal Chick
Summary: After the bet, depression overtakes Trish until Bubba decides to help. Trish ?, Lita ?, Victoria ? WIP.
1. Chapter 1

**Title**: Death Becomes Her  
**Author**: Alicia Ann  
**Website**: Sparkage (check profile for link)  
**Pairing**: Possible relationship in the future.  
**Rating**: R.  
**Spoilers**: Canadian dollar bet.  
**Summary**: It's been two months since the Canadian dollar bet. Lita has moved on but Trish can't... and she takes matters into her own hands.  
**Disclaimer**: Trish Stratus and any other character portrayed in this fic are just that, CHARACTERS. They belong to the McMahon family, Titan Sports, World Wrestling Entertainment and others. Don't sue, I don't have any money anyway. Thanks.  
**Notes**: Deals with attempted suicide. Dedicated to my friend, Alesia. She knows nothing about wrestling but still reads my fics. I love you, kid. I may use real names at times since this will deal with situations away from the WWE at times so if Trish calls Lita, Amy or vice versa, deal, please :)  
  
+++  
  
She cried as she remembered their laughing. It was so loud in her head and it played on a loop, going over and over again. She scoffed as she thought of the Canadian dollar. I'm only worth a dollar.   
  
She knew everyone felt sorry for her, they dropped by her hotel room in every city or offered her their rental cars. She turned into a fucking pity party. No one wanted to speak about it, they talked about the weather and how the Lakers needed a better player to get through to the playoffs but not one mention of Jericho, no how are you holding up? Or do you want me to kick his ass for you?  
  
And she couldn't take the whispering, oh there were the groups of girls who stopped talking and politely smiled as she walked by. She knew that they were giggling at the stupid girl with a heart of gold, falling for someone like Jericho.   
  
She grabbed the pocket knife and swallowed. The laughing was still there, only it was getting louder, taunting her, telling her she couldn't go through with it. The knife dropped to the floor with a great clatter and she covered her ears.  
  
"Shut up!" She cried but they were still there, urging her on, telling her she wasn't worthy of living.  
  
She picked up the knife again and clutched the handle. It was too much for her to take, she had always been the happy perky girl that everyone loved but she had been turned into a dumb blonde by management when she first started and now she was branded as a dumb little chippie who fell for Jericho's charms.  
  
She screamed in agony as she slashed her wrists, she remembered to do it the right way this time. It wasn't a cry for help or some dramatic scene that she wanted someone to happen upon, she wanted it done. It had been two months since the bet and she knew she didn't want the pity anymore. She just wanted it to be over. She couldn't sleep at night, she wouldn't eat anymore. She had become a shell of what she had once been.  
  
She held her wrists to her chest and took a few deep breaths as the blood poured out and turned her crisp, clean, white top to a soggy, red mess. The pain was going to be gone soon and all she could feel was the sleep that she so wanted. She just wanted to sleep...  
  
As her last thoughts faded from her brain, she finally got her wish. She slumped over to the side and slid down into the darkness.   
  
Trish Stratus died on the cold tile floor of a Holiday Inn.  
  



	2. Chapter 2

_I don't own any characters from the WWE. Info on chapter 1._  
  
Lita uncomfortably curled up on the small bench in the hallway of the hospital, she had been awake for hours and needed just a tiny break from the past few days.  
  
It had been a day since Trish was brought in. Lita remembered the phone call from Jeff in the middle of the night. She couldn't make out half of the words between the sobbing but she understood one thing. Trish had tried to kill herself.  
  
And Lita felt in some way, responsible for it. She couldn't help it, she brushed off the bet as if just another skeevy guy thing and to move on but she hadn't thought of Trish's feelings at all. She thought Trish would know to move on too, even though it was a shitty deal but Trish had taken Jericho seriously.   
  
Lita closed her eyes and tried to fall asleep, all the visitors had gone away for the night and she had threatened a nurse with a powerbomb if she didn't stop pestering her with requests of leaving the hospital.   
  
Trish needed her friendship, no one in the federation, other than the horn dogs that always wanted to get into her pants, seemed interested in the young blonde Canadian. She would have to change that.  
  
As she pulled her leather jacket up over her shoulders and drifted off to dreamland, she prayed that tomorrow would bring some goodness to Trish, maybe a miracle could make Trish realize that life really was worth living.  
  
+++  
  
She dreamed of clouds and rainbows and all the silly little things that reminded her of the happy times of her childhood. Little barbie dolls danced in her head as she slept in her hospital bed hooked up to IVs and machines that beeped incessantly.  
  
There were no dollar bets or bad nights, just the memory of wrestling with cousins in her upstairs bedroom and getting in trouble for starting everything with her sisters but it all vanished in an instant, she opened her eyes and blinked a few times as the morning sunlight hit her eyes.  
  
"Oh, is that bothering you? Let me fix that." A pleasant voice came from behind a curtain. A man with a stethoscope walked over to the shades and turned them, blocking the rays entrance to the hospital room.  
  
She wanted to ask 'Where am I?' but she knew where she was and she was pissed.  
  
"Are you my doctor?" She asked as she rubbed her throat.  
  
He nodded as he walked over to the side of her bed. "Open your mouth. Yes, I'm Dr. David Hale and you need to rest your voice, otherwise you're going to lose it completely. You lost a lot of blood so..."  
  
Trish snorted. "I was kinda going for that."  
  
"Yes, well, thank god your friend found you when you did..."  
  
"Who found me? Do you know?" She asked, she wanted to know who's ass to kick first.  
  
"I'm not sure of his name, he had unusual colored hair though..."  
  
"Jeff..." She muttered as she sat up. "How long was I down?"  
  
"A day. You're really lucky, Miss Stratus. You were clinically dead for twelve minutes and to have someone come back from that the next day, snapping at the person who saved your life, is a miracle." He patted her hand as he checked one of her numerous monitors.   
  
"Oh who's your little friend here?" He picked up a small plastic barbie doll that was left on her bedside table.  
  
She shrugged as she idly played with a piece of her hair. She had survived, she couldn't believe it, she did it the right way and had done it in the middle of the night where no one could just happen upon her and she survived. What the hell kind of cosmic joke was that?  
  
"Oh I forgot to wake your friend, she asked one of the nurses to wake her if your condition changed. I'm sure she'll have some minor back pain this morning. She's been sleeping on a plastic bench for hours in the hallway. I'll be right back."  
  
Trish looked over to the table beside her and gingerly picked up the small toy, she looked down at her hands and sighed. They had IVs in them, one filling her with a clear liquid and one with a packet of blood at the end. She fucking hated this, it was planned damn it! Her angry thoughts took a back seat as she heard a loud shriek coming from outside the room, she leaned over as best as she could but was stopped because of the IVs.  
  
"God damn, if I knew it weren't so painful to put you guys in, I'd rip you fuckers out."  
  
By the time she finished her sentence, Lita dashed into the room and ran to her bedside.  
  
"Oh my god. I'm so happy to see you. I thought you were gone and I was devastated and heartbroken. I didn't call you that night and I totally should have and I'm a horrible, horrible friend." She took a deep breath and continued. "I'm so so so sorry. I don't know what to say, I'm... I'm... I'm." She stuttered as she racked her brain to find something to say. 'What's wrong with you?' and a slap to the arm was something for later but now she needed something to say. Something that would convey what she needed to know, what she thought, what she felt.   
  
"Why?" She cried, as her eyes filled with tears. It was the only thing that seemed right.  
  
Trish reached out for Lita's hand. She was angry inside, she wanted to push everyone away but seeing her friend turn into a crying mess over something she did, hurt her deeply.  
  
"Everything. Is that good enough?"   
  
Lita shook her head as her fingers intertwined with her friend.  
  
"Alright, I didn't see a way out. It may sound stupid but it was just everything with Chris and everybody backstage and I just felt like I had no one."  
  
"You have me." Lita whispered. "I know I'm not much but you've got me...and Jeffy." She smiled.  
  
"Remind me to send him a big bouquet of flowers." Trish uttered, sarcastically.  
  
"Don't be like that. If it wasn't for his surprise visit to your hotel room, you'd be... dead." She trailed off at the end, she didn't like that word in the context of anyone she loved. "Can I hug you?"  
  
Trish pulled her into a hug, she smiled as Lita kissed her cheek. "Don't do this, please, whatever reason, it isn't worth it. Not all the Jericho's in the world is worth hurting yourself over. Promise me you won't hurt yourself again?"  
  
"I promise." She crossed her fingers as she pulled away from their embrace.   
  
"So, where's Jeff?" She fingered the brown hair of the doll as she picked it up.  
  
"He went back to my hotel room. He couldn't take the hospital." She walked around the bed to the side near the windows and pulled up a chair. "He told me to call as soon as dawn broke, so I guess I should call but I don't wanna go."  
  
"Ah, I'll be fine. There's no sharp objects in here." She joked.  
  
Lita frowned. "Funny, only not. What's that?" She pointed to the barbie in Trish's hand.  
  
"I thought it was from you." Trish handed it to her.  
  
"Nope, I've been either in the waiting room or in this hallway. I haven't been anywhere else and I sure as heck don't carry little plastic dolls around with me, unless they're my action figures."  
  
"Stop being cheeky and go call Jeff. Let's get the blubbering over with as soon as possible." She smiled at her red haired friend and got one in return.   
  
Lita hopped up from her chair and gave Trish another kiss and dropped the doll in her lap. "Don't get up, don't move or I'll chick kick you back into bed." She slowly made her way to the door but stopped as Trish spoke.  
  
"Um, did anyone visit me?"   
  
"Uhh, a few guys came to the waiting room when you were in the emergency room but left because they needed to move on to the next city and most of the divas came by when they moved you to this room but other than that I don't think so. Why?"  
  
"I was just wondering about the doll." She dropped her onto the table.  
  
"Well, I went to sleep around midnight or so and it wasn't here when I left the room so maybe a nurse has got a crush on you and knows all of your obsessions and thought that leaving you a Barbie would have you fall in love with them and never think about doing yourself in again. Good guess?"  
  
Trish laughed and nodded. "Pretty decent but they didn't leave a note."  
  
"Well, maybe they're a secret admirer. Ooh La La." She wiggled her eyebrows. "Anyway, do you want anything? Soda? Crackers? Head of Chris Jericho?" Lita quipped.  
  
"I'm fine. Go on." Trish shooed her away with her hand.   
  
As Lita left, Trish turned her attention back to her thoughts, she felt so helpless and stupid laying here in this bed. Hooked up to machines that kept her body going even thought her heart wasn't in it. She shook her head and fell back against the pillow.  
  
She didn't wanna think about anything, she just wanted to go away, Ironically enough, the heart monitor was the only thing that soothed her, always there in the background, beeping away, even though it was a reminder of her failure. Just another failure in the game of life.  
  
She closed her eyes and listened to the beeping, she soon found herself getting lost in it, a lullaby that never stopped. By the time Lita came back with a small bouquet of daises, Trish was fast asleep, dreaming of the happy times of her past that filled her dreams but never the present.  
  
Lita placed the flowers by her bed, near the tiny doll. She looked down at the blonde diva and brushed away some hair from her eyes. She loved Trish and wanted the best for her, she couldn't believe she had missed the signs especially since... no, she couldn't think of that now. Trish was going to make it, Trish was going to be stronger than Ann.  
  
But it was so hard to forget the image in her head. The bloody sheets tangled sheets wrapped around a cold body, the broken bottle that was clutched so tightly in that little pale hand.   
  
She looked down at Trish's hand, it looked so familiar to the one not so many years before and it scared her. Lita couldn't keep it locked inside anymore, she burst into tears, she wouldn't go through it again.   
  
As she wept, she knew she had to call him. She didn't want to but she knew he was the only one that could help, who could understand and guide Trish through it. Trish wouldn't die, not tomorrow, not until she was an old woman with fifteen fat grandchildren around. Lita would make sure of it.  
  



	3. Chapter 3

_disclaimers on chapter 1. I haven't done a chapter story in ever, so bear with me if you're actually reading this crap. thanks :)_  
  
+++  
  
On cue, as soon as Jeff saw her, he turned into a sobbing mess. Thank god she had been asleep when he arrived, she didn't think she could take another sappy reunion. Now. The Canadian was poking something that vaguely looked like food on her plate. Another reason to hate hospitals, the food.  
  
They told her it was chicken soup but it looked more like watered down mountain dew. She pushed it aside and munched on her crackers, the jello looked decent and the applesauce was in a single size portion cup so the crack team of cooks couldn't have screwed that one up.  
  
She reached for her juice and stopped mid-motion as she realized that the two people in front of her was watching her every move.  
  
"Okay, stop it. Right now." Trish muttered, she didn't want to be on display like this.  
  
"I'm sorry." Jeff whispered, she wanted to mad but couldn't, he looked so sad and worried, his purple hair was pulled back under a green handkerchief. He didn't look as put together as he usually did, his boots were untied, his shirt was only tucked into his jeans on the left side.  
  
"Come here, baby boy. I'm only eating for you so..." She gestured from him to move to the chair beside her bed, he smiled and quickly hurried over, opting to stand next to her than sit. He reached over and pulled off the lid to the applesauce.   
  
"You must be Miss Cleo cause that's what I wanted. My hero." She playfully swooned and patted his hand while she picked up her plastic spoon with the other.  
  
"Mister Cleo" He corrected her. "You should eat your soup. Good for you. Yum yum." She smiled slightly as she dipped the spoon into the liquid just a tiny tip and shoved the spoon into her mouth.  
  
"Ack!" She gagged as she spit out the utensil onto her tray. "God, that is just vile. Well, at least I get my wish, they're trying to kill me with this food."  
  
Jeff giggled but Lita sighed audibly. "Don't say that, okay?"  
  
"Say what?" Trish smiled innocently as she pushed her bowl to the edge of her table.   
  
"You know what."  
  
"But why?" Trish mock whined.  
  
Lita shook her head. "Don't play this, please. I'm tired and I've been worried sick and you just keep making jokes, Trish."  
  
"Fine fine." Trish threw her hands in the air. She didn't wanna do this now anyway, maybe later, maybe whenever she wasn't in a hospital gown, maybe whenever Jeff wasn't in the picture, when they could argue on equal footing.   
  
"I think we should let you get some sleep." She reached underneath her chair and grabbed her jacket.  
  
"Like mom, it's only 8:30." Jeff teased.  
  
"Yeah, I want to braid his hair and read his poetry then I can freeze his bra." Trish reached for his chest but Jeff moved back, she couldn't reach out any further because of her IV drip.   
  
"Damn thing." She flicked the little tube.  
  
Lita wanted to be the friend, she wanted to play that role but she found herself torn between being a parental figure and being a sister. She pulled on her jacket and walked to the other side of the bed, she kissed Trish on the cheek and whispered an I love you before she pulled away.   
  
"Come on, Jeff." Lita tugged on his jacket, he pushed her hand away gently and kissed Trish on the top of the head.   
  
"You scared us. Please don't do it again." He didn't wait for a response, he turned and brushed past the curtain dividing the room.   
  
"I'm just going to say ditto for now. We'll be back tomorrow." Lita smiled as she passed the curtain.   
  
After hearing the last of the echoes of their shoes, Trish cast the table of food away and off to the side, she really was eating for Jeff, only to put him at ease. She didn't want him to turn into a mother hen like Lita.  
  
Minutes passed by as she sat doing nothing, what the hell was she doing here anyway? She felt fine. The color returned to her cheeks, her throat felt better, she just wanted to leave.   
  
_Why the hell can't I? I'm an adult!_  
  
She furiously pushed the nurses button on the remote by her bed, she impatiently waited for someone to come, when no one came within the minute, she began to shout.  
  
"I need a little help." She stopped her shouting for ten seconds but when no one came she resumed "Hello! Patient with some actual insurance here!"  
  
And with that, one of the nurses ran in, out of breath, she grabbed her chart to find the extremely loud patient's name.   
  
"Um, Patricia, I'd appreciate it if you just rang the button to fetch a nurse instead of shouting for one."   
  
Trish put on her sweetest expression for the woman but her voice was nothing but sweet.  
  
"Listen, doll, I buzzed your little button over and over again and got jack squat, you should test their hearing because it sucks. Anyway, I'd like to sign myself out."  
  
"Miss, this isn't a hotel. I'd need to consult your doctor before you leave, you tried to..."  
  
Trish cut her off, she didn't need another damn lecture, especially from someone she didn't even know.   
  
"Blah blah blah blah blah." She used her hand to demonstrate someone talking. "I've heard it already, so save it. I'm an adult, I am fine. I'd like to sign myself out."  
  
"Miss..."  
  
"Now." Her voice was cold and void of emotions, just like the stare that bore into the woman before her. The nurse actually looked frightened as Trish stared her down.  
  
"Alright, I'll get the paperwork ready."  
  
Trish smiled brightly at the woman. "Thank you very much!" She said, her voice filled with cheer. She looked over to the side and picked up the tiny Barbie.  
  
"You and me kid, we're going places."  
  
In the span of thirty minutes, she signed herself away and walked out of that damn hospital with a pair of clothes from a bin of donated ones from a local church and was on her way to the airport. Thankfully, she had a few bills, her ID, and a credit card in her pocket from a shopping trip a few hours before the incident.   
  
As the cab drove down the nearly bare freeway, she couldn't help but feel just a bit guilty for not telling Lita or Jeff but those thoughts faded away as the lights from the airport came within view off in the distance.   
  
They were good people but she just didn't want that now. She really wanted to be away from it all, the travel, the people, the fans. She wanted to be by herself from now on.   
  
She rationalized how it would be best for them, they wouldn't need to hang out with a crazy suicidal girl and she wouldn't have to have to be henpecked by a chick only a few years older. It really truly was for the best.   
  
As she threw the cabbie a twenty from the back seat, she headed straight for the front desk of American Airlines, she knew what she had to do. She didn't care about this kind of life anyway. She wanted out of the WWE and she wanted it now.  
  
"Ma'am, can I help you?" A pleasant voice broke her thoughts as she stared off into the terminal.   
  
"Yes, when's the next flight to Stamford, Connecticut?"  
  
+++  
  
Lita happily skipped into the hospital room, a teddy bear in hand but stopped as the bed that once occupied Trish was empty. She walked back a few steps to check the room number, it was her room.   
  
_Oh god._  
  
She dropped the teddy bear as she raced down to the nurse's station as fast as her legs could carry her.   
  
"W-w-where's my friend? She was in room 139, she's not there anymore."   
  
"What's her name?"   
  
"Trish Stratus. Oh, god, did she... die?" The word was so hard to say, how could she be dead? How could anyone that young be gone? She let out a harsh sob and grabbed onto the counter top for support.  
  
"Your friend isn't dead, she checked herself out." A voice came from behind, it was the nurse that released Trish hours before.   
  
"What do you mean? Isn't she supposed to like, I don't know, stay here for observation to make sure she doesn't do anything stupid?" Lita moved from the counter to the woman, she couldn't believe it. Trish didn't even tell her, Trish never said anything about it.  
  
"For minors, yes but when an adult comes in and they want out and they've had no history of mental illness then we can't stop them. She signed the waiver and left about ten last night."  
  
Ten? The fear that had subsided for a moment at the news of Trish signing herself out grew. It was now nine in the morning, plenty of time for Trish to finish the job.   
  
"Did she say anything about going anywhere?"  
  
The nurse rubbed her chin for a moment and tried to recall the events of the night.  
  
"I believe she asked for some change to use the pay phone. I remember her saying something about the airport but other than that, nothing, I'm sorry."  
  
"Thank you." She waved off the nurse and turned around, heading back down the hallway. She stopped to pick up the small bear that she had dropped. Lita pulled out her cellphone and checked her missed calls. Nothing. How could she not call her? How could she not think she'd worry about her.   
  
Lita fumed even more during the elevator ride, she was her fucking friend, damn it! She at least deserved some sort of message, she slammed her fist into the 'open doors' button and found the nearest trash can, she angrily threw the toy into the can and stormed off.  
  
She was angry on the outside, not caring about what anyone would think of her at the moment but deep down inside she was terrified, she had no idea where her suicidal friend was. No messages in the past ten hours and she was getting worried by the minute. She had no choice but to call him, what else could she do?  
  
+++  
  
Trish stood in front of the steps of World Wrestling Entertainment headquarters, she had taken two flights and a cab to get here and had no qualms about what she was going to do. She waved off the cab and headed up the stairs and into the expansive lobby, she nodded politely at the guard and front desk and headed to the elevators.   
  
About ten associates got onto the elevator, they all took one glance at her and faced forward, too afraid to say anything. A few more people got on at the tenth floor and most got off on the twentieth. This was a right decision, this was something that was needed. She looked at her reflection in the gold plated doors, she smoothed down her hair and picked a few pieces of lint from the black zip up sweat jacket.  
  
Trish stopped as the elevator came to a stop and dinged as the doors slid open. The hallway was long and covered in black and white marble, designed to look an awful lot like Vince's office. She stepped out and began to stride down the hallway, the receptionists desk getting closer with every step.  
  
She noticed off to the side Ric Flair, Randy Orton and Hunter were talking but stopped as soon as they saw her come into sight, she glared at them and now felt even better about her decision.   
  
The sneakers squeaked against the clean floor, the woman behind the desk looked up and seemed to gasp softly. "Trish? Oh, I heard about..."  
  
"Um, hey..." She interrupted, waving her off as she propped her elbows onto the counter. "Is Vince here, by any chance?"  
  
"No, Mr. McMahon isn't in to-"  
  
"Okay, well is Junior in?"  
  
"If you're speaking of Shane..."  
  
"Bingo, sister. I'm looking to speak to numero dos." She held up two fingers and waved them in front of the woman's face.  
  
"Well, he's in a meeting at the moment maybe I can..." She reached for a piece of paper and pen.  
  
Trish sighed loudly and shook her head. "It's very important, see, I don't have a lot of time, if you've heard the rumors and it's imperative that I see him right now."  
  
"But the meeting..." The woman behind the desk glanced nervously at two large black doors at the end of the hallway. Trish smirked and raised her hands up. "Alright, okay. Is it okay if I wait here..." She pointed at the group of black leather chairs off to the side. She glanced at the gold nameplate on the counter and mustered up her best smile. "...Barbara?"  
  
"Of course." She returned the smile and busied herself again with the phone.  
  
Trish walked slowly over to the setup and picked up a magazine, she flipped through a few pages and looked up at the double doors, she gave a sideways glance to the woman on the phone and noticed a very large security guard behind the wall that had been so hidden she hadn't seen him before.  
  
She fake yawned and raised her hands over her head and made a break for it, by the time Barbara and the large bald headed security guard got up from their seats, she was already halfway down the hall.   
  
She pounded her fists onto the hard wood of the door and nearly fell in the door as Shane quickly opened it.  
  
"Oomph!" She fell into him but was stopped by his arms holding her up.  
  
"What the hell is this?" The guard and clerk finally caught out, out of breath with anger etched on their faces.  
  
"I'll get her out of here." The guard growled as he reached for her.  
  
"No!" Shane's voice boomed as he pulled Trish up and helped her brush herself off. "She's fine, get back to work and maybe next time, you can actually do your damn jobs."   
  
They nodded their head and spoke in unison. "Yes, Mr. McMahon."  
  
He slammed the door shut on them and turned his attention back to Trish.  
  
"Where's all your partners or whatever?" She looked around the empty boardroom, only to find a few posterboards on easels with a few drawings and figures.   
  
"Huh?"  
  
"She told me you were in a meeting."   
  
"Oh, I tell her to tell that to anyone, I was playing some basketball, didn't want to be disturbed." He winked at her as he grabbed the foam basketball from the large, wooden table and threw it at the six foot plastic hoop. He groaned as the basket bounced off the top of the rim. "So, here to talk shop?"  
  
"I guess so..." She scratched at her wrist and stopped as he stared at it.  
  
"So is it okay?" Shane walked closer but she pulled the sleeve down, hiding any part of the bandage.  
  
"It's never okay." She said, he noticed a change in tone but didn't mention anything about it. "And that's what I sort of need to discuss with you."  
  
"Go ahead." He sat in the closest chair and motioned for her to do the same. Trish settled into the chair and took a deep breath.  
  
"I'm quitting the WWE."  
  
"What?" He asked, disbelief lined his voice. "You can't do that!"  
  
"See, Shane, I don't think you understand. I'm not really in the best mental shape at the moment so I don't really know what I'm doing from here on out but this is the best option for all of us."  
  
He jumped up from his chair and moved to her. "You can take off as long as you want. All medical expenses paid, vacation, whatever. As long as you need to recover from what happened."  
  
She laughed bitterly as the McMahon tried to reason with her. "I don't think you fully understand, Shane. I don't care about vacation, I don't care about medical attention, I don't care if I got a call from god every day. I have no intention in coming back to anything. Don't you see, dear? I'm going away for a while."  
  
He thought about it for a moment before his eyes widened as large as dinner plates. She couldn't be... she wouldn't... she already did.   
  
"You can't..."  
  
"I can." She smirked. "I'm doing it now and I hate to be rude but I'm on a tight schedule so I need to get home as soon as possible." She slipped out of her chair and moved towards him. "Give us a hug."   
  
Before he was able to say anything, she hugged him tightly and flounced out of the room, only to peek her head back in.   
  
"Shane, please relay this message to your father because I mean it, I'm not coming back, there's no reason to."  
  
Shane grabbed the top of one of the chairs, his legs were wobbly after that whirlwind encounter. He took a few deep breaths and his eyes moved to his rolodex. He quickly grabbed it and pulled it over to him, he muttered as his flipped through the pages. He stopped and ripped the card from the roledex.   
  
He quickly dialed the number and silently thanked god as she picked up the phone.  
  
"Lita? I have some news..."  
  
+++  
  
"She what?!" Lita exclaimed, she took her eyes off the road for a second and nearly rammed into a park car. She yelped and dropped her cell phone onto the passenger seat, she grabbed the steering wheel and pulled into an empty parking lot.  
  
Lita grabbed the phone and put it back up to her ear. "Oh my god, I just had a heart attack and nearly got into an accident."  
  
Shane breathed a sigh of relief. "Lita, did she really try to kill herself?"  
  
Lita breathed deeply. "Yes."  
  
"Oh god."  
  
"Besides saying she wanted to quit, what else did she say?"  
  
"Umm, she said that she wouldn't be around long or something and that she was going home."  
  
"Toronto." Lita mumbled and searched her purse. A passport and a credit card. "Shane, I gotta go, I'm going to knock some sense in to her. Okay? Yeah, I will. Bye."   
  
She punched the end button but continued to stare at it, she put this off for too long. She searched through her digital address book and found his name, she listened to the ringing and prayed that he was there.  
  
"Hello." A sleepy voice came from the other end.  
  
"Bubba, I need to ask you a favor."  
  
+++  
  
_Ooh! Stay tuned to see what happens! Please, kay, thanks._


	4. Chapter 4

_Um, I don't know if this is _too_ short but I can always add to this..._  
  
++++   
  
He woke up to the sound the ringing phone next to his head, a night of partying isn't going to do anything good for his hurt knee but it doesn't matter, he won't be back with the WWE for a while, so why not make the most of his paid vacation?  
  
He searched for the phone in the mass of covers around him, finally feeling the hard plastic wrapped in his sheet, he pulls it out and brings it to his ear.   
  
"Hello?" He rubbed his eyes as his fingers adjusted to the afternoon light.  
  
"Bubba, I need to ask you a favor." Her voice isn't cheerful, she sounds tired and upset.  
  
"Lita? What's wrong?"  
  
And then he hears her crying, now, he usually hates when women cry, he doesn't know how to comfort them, doesn't know what to say or do but he knows Lita, if you continue on with whatever she needs, she'll stop and get through it. She's tough like that but, today, she's not stopping.  
  
"Trish... Bubba, she tried to kill herself yesterday and I don't know who else to call and..." Her voice broke and she began to sob. This was getting to be too much, this was turning into another nightmare.  
  
Bubba shushed her, even though he was beginning to feel the same as she. "She's going to be alright, is she in the hospital? Is she okay?"  
  
"No, that's the thing. She checked out last night, flew to Stamford, quit the WWE and now I think she's going home and she didn't even tell me she was leaving the hospital. I don't know if she's planning anything or... Oh god, Bubba, I'm so scared."   
  
"Don't worry, Lita, okay? She'll be okay." Bubba threw the covers off of him and slipped out of bed. He grabbed a pair of pants from the pile of clean clothes next to him and slipped them on, along with a clean white shirt and his jacket.   
  
"Where are you?" He asked, as he grabbed his wallet from the top of the mantle of his fireplace in his bedroom.  
  
"I'm in Detroit..."   
  
"Okay, I'll get on a plane and be there and..."  
  
"No!" She exclaimed.  
  
_No?_   
  
"What do you mean 'no'?" He scratched his head, confused at her outburst.  
  
"I need you to be there... to talk to her." She expected yelling but there was only a pause at the end of the line. It wasn't short, it was terribly long and it seemed to stretch on for hours. "Bubba?"  
  
"I can't do that... I... I'm sorry, Lita but with... Ann." He felt that stupid stutter of his, whenever he was upset, come on. "I'm sorry, baby girl but I w-w-wouldn't even know what to say t-t-o her."  
  
She sighed, she knew that this was a last resort and that he'd probably say no but she had to give it a try and it failed. She sniffled and pulled the car out of the parking lot, back into traffic.  
  
"It's okay, I've gotta go then. I'll see you later, Bubba." She quickly punched the end button and threw the phone on the passenger seat, she couldn't let him hear her cry. She knew how hard bring up Ann was and she didn't want to give him anymore grief.  
  
"Wait, Lita..." He heard the click and the silence on the other end. He deeply sighed as he set the phone back onto its cradle, he couldn't do this over again, he hoped she would understand that.  
  
As he slipped back into bed, he truly hoped that he was making the right choice. Trish was a sore spot for him, she had used him up and spit out the carcass of Bubba Ray but she was still a person, who seemed to have changed for the better in the recent years.  
  
He pulled the covers over his head and tried to fall back to sleep but she was still there in the back of mind.   
  
"God damn it, I'm so going to regret this." He grumbled as he pushed the covers off of him. He ran to his hall closet and pulled out a duffel bag, he threw some clothes from the clean pile next to his bed into the bag, zipped it up and grabbed his black boots.   
  
"Toronto, you better fucking be good to me." He grabbed his wallet from his mantel and slammed the door shut. _Why the hell am I such a good friend?_  
  
Bubba stumbled into his living room and out the door, taking the time to take a good long look at Ann's picture on one of his book shelves. Oh, what his life brought him.  
  
+++  
  
Lita and Jeff raced away from the airport in their rental car, making sure to be extra careful on the icy roads of Toronto. They sped down the highway, not caring about the fact that they had just passed a state trooper. Thankfully, he didn't notice them.  
  
"Do you think she's really going home or she's like... going home." His gaze traveled to the sky.  
  
She hadn't thought of that. Lita's mind floated back to how her ill grandmother kept reminding the family that she was going home soon, Lita was only seven at the time and didn't know what that meant but whenever she passed on and everyone at the funeral kept talking about finally resting at home, she got it. But that's not what Trish meant, could it?  
  
She was knocked out of her daze by a blaring horn behind her, she looked up at the light and noticed that it had turned green.  
  
"Lita! I was shaking you really hard just then, you didn't feel it?" Jeff asked, concerned at the fact that she had just did that in the middle of the street. "Do you want me to drive?"  
  
"No." She drove off quickly, turning down a residential street. "I'm just, you know, I didn't think about home like that. I just assumed home as in stone, bricks, door on the front, two car garage."   
  
She ran her fingers through her hair and headed up a large hill. Jeff looked in the back seat at the lone bag on the floor of their rental car, it was Trish's bag. He really didn't know what to think about all of this, he had never dealt with anything like this before. He knew what it was like to be depressed but to kill yourself over someone like Jericho. He shook his head at the thought.   
  
As they drove, the houses were progressively getting larger, more expensive cars in the driveway, bigger trees, bigger beds of flowers, they seemed out of reach but as they turned down Trish's street, it changed. It looked as if they had just drove into a dream, a place that you'd raise your kids, throw a steak on the barbecue, set outside and talk while you watched the stars fill the night sky, not hobnob with a famous hockey player or actor like the surrounding area.  
  
Lita sigh of relief was echoed by Jeff as they spotted her silver car in the driveway, she would never leave without her baby. Lita pulled in next to the car and stepped out of their rental.  
  
"Jeff, I want you to stay here, okay? I'm going to see if..." She trailed off and he nodded in understanding.  
  
"I'll be waiting."  
  
She headed down the path and up a short set of concrete stairs, she firmly pressed the doorbell and waited, when a minute passed she could feel herself getting worked up, thinking up the possibilities of what was going on in the house, but she tried to push that aside. She slipped her hand into the potted plant on the right side of the door and felt for the spare key, she felt the edge of metal and reached for the tape, securing it and pulled.   
  
Lita walked back over to the door, slipping the key in the hole, she said a silent prayer and turned the key. As the door opened, the soft sound of music flowed from the back of the house, she followed it, straining to hear if it got further away or closer.   
  
She walked down a set of stairs and into Trish's rec room, the music that obviously the kind to slit your wrists to was deafening, she walked over to the bar and noticed that five empty glasses were set out on the top, she grabbed one and sniffed. The smell of liquor filled her nose and she gagged.  
  
"I see you found me." A harsh whisper came from the other side of the room. Lita reached up and turned on one of the bar lights, red light flooded the room and she turned her attention to a dark corner of the room. She could barely see Trish propped up on a bar stool, drinking amber liquid from a glass.  
  
"Congratulations, Lita. You win a prize, let's see what I can give you. I've got a house, some cool clothes although I'm sure they won't fit you. Oh, you can have..."  
  
"Stop talking like that." Lita demanded, she moved closer to the blonde.  
  
"Like what? Like I don't have much time left. Guess what? I don't."  
  
"Stop acting like this is a joke or something, like you're just wheeling and dealing your way to the afterlife."  
  
Her fists balled up and she began shaking. "You don't have cancer, you don't have AIDS, you're going to live past tomorrow!"  
  
Trish bitterly laughed and brought the glass to her lips, taking a long sip. "You don't understand, huh, Lita? There's nothing left for me here, I'm all used up. Haven't you heard? I'm over."  
  
"What the hell do you mean over? Trish, you have a long life ahead and you've got this precious gift of a healthy..."  
  
Trish rolled her eyes as she crossed her arms, who the hell did she think she was? Little miss saintly Lita the holiest of all? "Oh, spare me with your garbage. I know when I'm not needed anymore. I thought that maybe it was all because of Jericho and I know that's what lead to it but this has been coming for a long time. Maybe if you had been a better friend you would have realized it..."  
  
Lita gasped as Trish chuckled and brought the glass back to her lips. Lita rushed over and ripped the glass from her hand, spilling the liquid all over both of them, she flung the glass over the wall near the bar, shattering it.  
  
"What the fuck is wrong with you? I have been the best friend that I could be." Lita screamed but Trish didn't back down, she pushed herself off the bar stool and moved in to Lita's space.  
  
"What the FUCK is wrong with me?" Trish mocked her friend's tone. "I don't wanna be around you or any of those freaks in the WWE, alright? I'm sick of it. I just wanna go off somewhere and never return, be it dying, be it living in the fucking forest for the rest of my goddamn life. That's what I wanna do. I want to get as far away from you as I can."  
  
Lita's lip trembled as she tried to hold back tears. "Oh, Lita, gonna cry? Do you need one of my tissues? I used a lot of those but no one ever noticed, certainly not you." Trish smirked.  
  
Lita stepped back and Trish stepped forward. "Stop it." Lita put her hands in front of her body, only to be slapped away by Trish.  
  
"Stop what?" Trish moved into Lita's face again, Lita couldn't believe was she was seeing, her friend was blaming her, blaming her for... she burst into tears before she could finish her thought.  
  
"Don't cry, Lita. Do you remember all those times you cried about Matt? Oh, multiply that by about ten thousand and that's how many times *I've* cried."  
  
"You never came to me!" Lita cried. "You just balled it all up inside and withdrew yourself from everyone. It's not my fault! I just want to help you but I don't know how."   
  
Trish pushed Lita into the bar and pinned her in place. "You wanna know how you can help? You wanna know what's wrong with me? I don't want to see tomorrow, I don't want to see today, and I don't even wanna see the next hour. I'm tired of just being! Alright?"  
  
Trish let go of Lita and moved around to the other side of the bar, she pulled out another bottle of liquor and began pouring into a large glass.  
  
"Trish, this isn't good for you." She pointed the glasses on the bar. "You need help not all this." Lita said, softly, looking at her friend who seemed more interesting in getting her glass full again.  
  
"Stop being my mother and get out." She spat.  
  
"I'm not trying to be your mom, you need..."   
  
"What I need is for you to get the FUCK out of my home." She roared.  
  
Lita looked at her friend for a moment in disbelief. She just looked so angry, so terribly sad. This wasn't Trish Stratus at all. This wasn't the girl who passed out cookies in the back or who smiled every minute. Was her friend already dead? Trish looked up at her, no emotion filled her once vibrant features. She looked so hollow...  
  
Lita took in the moment, the new girl in front of her, for another second before turning around and walking out of the house, the woman she just left wasn't Trish, not by a long shot.  
  
Jeff nervously played with a piece of gum wrapper he found on the dashboard, he stopped and lit up as he heard the front door open but his face fell as soon as he saw Lita's tear streaked cheeks.  
  
"Lita?" He asked, much wonder in his voice, but she didn't answer.  
  
She opened the car door and ripped Trish's bag from the back seat. With all of her strength, she flung the black bag onto the porch and it landed with a great thud. She slipped into the car and started it up.  
  
"What happened?" He placed his hand on her shoulder as it began to shake. Lita let out all of the sobs that she had held in up until this point, deep, soul shaking cries poured from her mouth as Jeff moved over and pulled her into a hug.  
  
"Trish is gone. It's not... she's... Let's go." Lita murmured as she put the car in drive.   
  
As they pulled out of the driveway, they didn't notice the rustling of the white drapes in the window above the garage or the girl behind them, staring at the rental car speed off.  
  
Trish whimpered as the car stopped at a stop sign for a moment, she brushed away the tears with the back of her hand. She glanced down at the glass table by her side and noticed something, she picked up a silver frame that held a picture from years ago, she shook her head as memories flooded back to her. It was of her and Lita with bright smiles on their faces, with Jeff wedged in between them, laughing. Her eyes tore away from the happy family as she placed it back on the glass.   
  
"Goodbye."  
  



	5. Chapter 5

_disclaimers are on chapter 1_  
  
+++  
  
Jeff pulled into the parking lot of the Holiday Inn in the heart of Toronto and stepped out, he fished in his pocket for a pack of cigarettes, lighting one, he leaned against the car and let out a weary sigh.  
  
He still didn't know what had happened hours ago at Trish's house. As they rounded the corner she stopped crying and seemed to grow cold, extremely distant. He tried prying what happened out of her but she kept driving, even when they passed hotels where they could stay for the night, she kept driving.  
  
As hour three passed, he stopped talking, all the words in the world couldn't get her to speak. So, he sat in his seat and watched the cars go by, waiting for when she would break.  
  
He had never seen her like this before and it scared him, she was always so strong, in the ring and out but when it came to things like this, she was so fragile and always seemed to take the full load on her instead of asking for help and now he wondered if all of that stress had finally gotten to her.  
  
He took a long drag of his cigarette and pulled his hat down further on his head, it was a biting cold night but he didn't want to disturb Lita's thoughts so he stepped out of the car, regretting it the minute the chilly wind hit his face.  
  
He shivered and dropped the cigarette on the ground, crushing it with his boot. He shoved his hands in his pockets, this stupid waiting is what he hated. He wasn't going to force Lita to tell him but something really needed to be done about Trish.  
  
Lita sat in the back seat, unaware of everything around her, the world could have opened up and swallowed half of Toronto and she'd still be sitting in the back seat of their rental, deep in thought.  
  
It wasn't supposed to go this way. It was supposed to be like the movies where the person who needs help turns into a sobbing mess and begs for their loving friend to help them. Not to attack them, mock them and send them out of their house, a sobbing mess.  
  
Lita racked her brain for what she had done wrong, she was the good friend. She was the one who laughed and joked and spent time with Trish. And she did hold her when she cried about Jericho... that one time.   
  
Her thoughts shot back and forth from Ann to Trish, she had failed again. Why the hell was it so hard to keep the people she loved in her life? It always seemed to crumble every five years, leaving her to rebuild on shaky foundation. Lita brushed away the tears with her fingers as she looked down at the floor. As soon as she did, her eyes caught something, a blinking red light coming from her bag.   
  
She reached down and pulled out her cell phone. Oh crap. She flipped open the phone and turned it on. When did I turn it off!?  
  
She went to her missed calls menu, only to find thirteen calls from Bubba.  
  
"Oh fuck!" She groaned. "Jeff!" Her fist slammed against the window softly, she waved her hand for him to come back in.   
  
"Why the hell were you out there, anyway?" She asked, as he settled in the drivers seat, closing the car door.  
  
"Enjoying the winter weather of good 'ol Canada. What's wrong?"  
  
"It's Bubba. I turned off my phone accidentally and now I've got thirteen calls from him, christ. He's probably so mad, Jeff."   
  
She speed dialed his cell and waited, she listened as the phone was answered.   
  
"Lita! Where the hell have you been? I have been worried sick about you, I've called and called and called. What happened?" Bubba's booming voice came from the other line, she knew he wasn't angry just incredibly worried but he seemed to be talking louder than usual. In the background she heard noise that could only be at one place. The airport.  
  
"I... Bubba, where are you?" Lita asked, covering her other ear.  
  
"I'm in Toronto. As soon as I got off the phone with you, I got up and got dressed, I couldn't just do that, sweetheart."   
  
Lita smiled sadly, Bubba truly was a friend. "We'll come get you, okay?"  
  
"Yeah, no problem. What happened with Trish? Have you been yet?"  
  
Lita could feel it coming back to her and handed the phone to Jeff, she couldn't talk yet, she couldn't do... It just echoed in her head, over and over. You failed. She fell over to the side and onto her bag.  
  
Jeff reached in the back and patted her leg gently, something really bad must have happened up there.   
  
"Bubba? It's Jeff."   
  
"Jeff, what happened to Lita?"   
  
Jeff started up the car, turning on the heater to warm the car up. "Um, I don't know exactly. We went to Trish's house, Lita told me to stay inside the car and wait for her, it was about ten minutes before she came out. She was definitely crying, she then grabbed Trish's bag out of the back seat and threw it on her porch." Jeff took a breath and glanced back at Lita, still laying on her bag.  
  
"She got in the car and started crying by the time we got to the end of the block, she just went zombie on me." Jeff stated, bluntly.  
  
"Zombie?" Bubba asked, this sounded exactly how she reacted to Ann. He just prayed that it wasn't.  
  
"Yeah, yeah. I kept trying to ask her what happened, was Trish alright, stuff like that but she wouldn't answer, so I kept quiet. She drove around for a few hours and then parked in the parking lot of this hotel and she finally snapped out of it but now she's got this glassy stare again."  
  
"Fuck." He silently cursed and grabbed his bag. "Look, Jeff. Do you know what street you're on?"  
  
"Uhm, I think it's Carter Road. I can come get you." He suggested.  
  
"No, that's alright. I know where you guys are, I'll just get a cab. I'll be there in five minutes and just talk to her, just keep talking. Otherwise..."  
  
"What? Otherwise, what?" He asked, frantic about the way he had trailed off.  
  
"Jeff, a long time ago, something like this happened. Someone died and Lita ended up in a hospital, she spent two months in there, strapped to a bed. She never talks about it, she doesn't even talk about it to me and I know all about it. So keep her brain active, if I know her, she's thinking about all that's happening and everything that did happen in the past and if you don't try to keep her mind working on something else than Trish. I think she may go off the deep end."  
  
There was a click and the line went dead. He pulled the phone away from his ear and looked down at it.   
  
Had he heard right? Lita in a hospital, he was more shocked about the fact that he had never heard about it before than the fact that she was in one for such a long period of time. Lita usually was on open book with her friends, ready to let anyone hear about her experiences but this was the first he had heard of anything of this sort. In the back of his mind, he wondered if even Matt knew about this.  
  
"Lita? Hey, Bubba's coming. I can... I don't know what to do. God, help me. Maybe I'll sing? I'm good at that right?"  
  
The silence in the car grew deeper as she just sat there, staring out into nothing. Jeff gently reached for her hand and began to sing.  
  
"You are my sunshine. My only sunshine." She still sat there, unmoving, making him even more anxious. "Oh god." His voice wavered, ready to break at any moment but he continued. "You make me happy when skies are gray. You'll never know how much I love you, please don't take my sunshine way."  
  
He stroked her hand, looking at her tiny hands, the new coat of blue nail polish. What the hell was happening? Everything was fine just five days ago! Why did everything change so much in their lives, it wasn't fair.   
  
"Lita, you can't... We're going to help Trish out, even if she doesn't want it. Nothing bad will ever happen again, I promise. I'll keep all the bad things away from you if you just hang on. You can't leave me, I don't have Matt anymore. I only have you and Trish and you're both at the end of your ropes so god, please don't let go."  
  
He slowly brought her hand to his lips, placing a soft kiss on it.  
  
"See, you can't go because you're too smart, kind and loving to go and because, Lita, I'll never have the chance to say I..."  
  
He jumped as something hit the side of the drivers side window. It was Bubba. Jeff pulled away from Lita and rolled down the window, he stopped the car and handed the keys to Bubba.   
  
"Put your bag in the back and come around on the other side."   
  
Bubba looked in the back seat at the lifeless girl occupying the back, it was real. There was no nightmare, no ability to pinch himself and see it all fade away.  
  
"Bubba." Jeff interjected softly, his green eyes met the brown eyes of the man that towered above the car.   
  
"Yeah."  
  
Bubba moved towards the back and placed his bag in the trunk, slamming it shut. He opened the passenger and settled into his seat, he looked in the back as he handed Jeff the keys.  
  
"We've gotta take her to a hospital." Bubba nodded in agreement.  
  
"Do you know where one is?"  
  
Jeff nodded as they pulled out of the driveway and into traffic. "There's one up this street. Matt had got hurt at a house show a couple years and I went with him. What's wrong with her?"  
  
Bubba looked again in the back seat, if he didn't see her chest rise and fall and the slight tremble that her lip made every once in a while, he would think that the girl behind him was dead.  
  
"It's shock. She's just... Last time, they had to treat her by giving her all kinds of medicine and stuff but since she broke out of it for a moment to talk to me, maybe it'll be... I don't know. Maybe she'll be fine."  
  
They drove in silence the rest of the way to St. Mary's, Jeff pulled into the emergency entrance and stopped the car as Bubba jumped out and ran in with Lita cradled in his arms.   
  
Jeff pulled away, in search of parking space, he looked back, the image of Bubba holding Lita, her arm hanging limp to the side getting lost in a mass of nurses and doctors was the last thing he saw as he drove into the parking lot.  
  
+++   
  
Jeff and Bubba sat next to each other in the waiting room, both staring at the floor tile, not knowing what to say to each other. This was just another surreal experience in the life of Jeff Hardy.  
  
Two friends in only a few days. Jeff sighed as both girls entered his thoughts. This didn't happen to WWE superstars, this was for people who were unbalanced and unhappy and he had never seen that in either of them other than the usual sadness about certain things. Jeff just couldn't grasp why anything like this was happening to his girls. He just hoped that everything would be alright.  
  
Bubba just didn't understand the things that happened in his life. He didn't know if God was setting him up for the greatest reward in the world when he was finished with life or if he was just laughing at him, toying with his life as if it were just nothing to him.  
  
The two men were so deep in thought that they didn't notice the young female doctor call their names, she walked around the counter and tapped them on their shoulders causing them to jump at the same time.  
  
"Mr. Hardy, Mr. Dudley?"  
  
"Yeah?" They both rose and moved towards the counter.  
  
"Your friend is Lita Dumas?"  
  
"Is she okay?" Jeff blurted out as he leaned against the counter.  
  
"She's fine, we gave her some stuff and she's in a private room now. She's fully conscious and asking for both of you, she gave us a little scare but she'll be fine now. It's room 298. On the fifth floor, make a left when you reach the top, okay?"  
  
"Yeah, thanks again, doc." Bubba nodded as she walked away. "Jeff, gimme the keys. I'm going to go to Trish's, you go up with Lita, make sure she's fine, tell her I'm here and that I'll be back. Okay?"  
  
Jeff dangled the keys from his fingers but wouldn't let go as Bubba grabbed them.   
  
"Bubba, I want you to tell me everything that happens. Whatever it may be, whatever she says. I won't ask Lita, so I'm begging you to be straight with me when you come back, alright?"  
  
"Don't worry, man. I will. I'll call you whenever what I do is finished. I don't know exactly what to say and I'm not even sure if she'd be willing to listen but I'm going to try my damnedest."  
  
"Whatever it takes to make her better, Bubba. Um, thanks for coming. I know you're here for Lita but I don't know what I'd do if there wasn't someone here to do all this." Jeff pushed back a few strands of hairs away from his face and tucked them behind his ear.  
  
He patted the younger man's shoulder and smiled. "Don't worry, Jeff. We'll make sure they're alright."  
  
Bubba headed off through the sliding doors and to the parking lot. Jeff hoped that Trish's fate was better than the girl that Lita had known years before.  
  
+++  
  
Bubba drove for nearly forty minutes to her house, thinking of sentences to string together when he spoke to her. Considering their past, he doubted she would be happy to see him but he didn't care, something happened that turned Lita into a mess again and he was going to find out what the hell that was.  
  
His fingers trembled as he pressed the doorbell, all the lights were off but he didn't suspect anything odd since it was so late in the evening. He waited for what seemed like a minute and tried to doorbell again.  
  
Again, there was no answer. It only works in horror movies so, might as well try it. He twisted the knob and was shocked to find it was open. He stepped inside and closed it shut.   
  
He looked around her house, nothing had changed from the first time he had been there, a new piece of art hung on the wall near the stairs but everything else was the same.  
  
He stepped into her living room, noting that nothing looked broken or moved around, he moved on into the foyer and to her den. Nothing seemed out of place there as well, it really was eerie how everything seemed the same but that's what you get when you spend most of your life on the road.   
  
He moved into her kitchen, finally finding something out of place. It was her cordless phone and base, smashed to bits, plastic pieces were scattered all over the kitchen floor. A few glasses were in the sink and a jacket hung over the back of a dining chair.  
  
"Trish?" He asked nervously, he hadn't yet pushed the possibility of someone robbing the house out of his mind.  
  
He went back through the living room, picking up one of the fireplace tools to use for protection and quickly headed up the flight of stairs to her bedroom. He darted in and out of her two spare bedrooms, making sure everything was undisturbed.  
  
Bubba moved into her office, finally finding a significant amount of damage. Most of the picture frames were trashed and tiny ripped up pieces of what used to be pictures of friends and family, were on the floor.  
  
Some knick knacks were also broken and left on the shelves of her built in unit but he noticed something in the middle of her glass desk, it was a picture. An untouched picture of a smiling Lita, Trish and Jeff. He let his fingers linger on Trish's image before moving on to the master bedroom.  
  
There were drawers opened, items of clothing were strewn on the floor, a pile of bras and panties laid on her bed.   
  
He moved to the closet and encountered more clothes on the floor, every section in the closet had been touched except for her ring wear.  
  
Now he was getting worried, there were no robbers, nothing of value was taken. Just missing clothes and what seemed to be a smash up mission to destroy anything that meant something to the very depressed and lost woman named Trish.  
  
He dropped the long metal fireplace tool he had been holding onto the floor and ran, as quick as he could, to the garage, he stumbled out into the empty room. Her car was gone. The silver little cadillac that she loved and used to joke about calling 'baby' was gone. Which meant only one thing, Trish was gone too. And probably as far away from Toronto as she could get.  
  



	6. Chapter 6

_This was short so I decided to add the thing after the flashback. Next chapter will be set in future, few months or so. Disclaimers, etc., etc., on Chapter 1_  
  
+++  
  
"What the hell do you mean she's gone?!"   
  
Jeff turned to see if Lita heard his outburst but thankfully she had fallen back asleep, exhausted by the events of the past few days and the medicine that the hospital so happily dolled out.  
  
"I can't find her! I came in, the door was unlocked, went through the house but Trish and her car is gone. Along with some clothes. I went through some drawers and I can't find licenses or passports so she's probably got them too."   
  
"Oh my god, she could be headed anywhere! We should call the police."  
  
Bubba pulled his ear away from the cellphone and grimaced. Loud, nervous Jeff Hardy wasn't doing his ears a favor.   
  
"Yeah but she's an adult and she's hasn't been missing for twenty fours hours, if she were a teen, they'd be on it but before twenty four hours, I'll figure out something, man?" Bubba rifled through the contents of a large oak desk, looking for anything that could tell him where she was going. "So, how's Lita?"  
  
"She's fallen back asleep, I guess all the meds they fed her are starting to work."  
  
"That's good, I guess, I don't want her doped up for a long time though." He deeply sighed as he slammed the final desk drawer shut. "I don't think I'll find anything here that'll help me. Just a bunch of broken stuff that she's seemed to have taken it out on."  
  
"What should we do?"  
  
"I know a few friends who work for the police departments in a few towns near the border, I could ask them to put out some kind of bulletin for her car and description."  
  
"This is real, isn't it?" Jeff looked back at the sleeping form of Lita.  
  
"Yeah, it is."  
  
"Do you think Trish will try and... you know, again?"   
  
Bubba could hear the apprehension in his voice. He remembered a pamphlet someone gave him after Ann's death. _10 times out of 15, a person who tries to commit suicide will try so again._  
  
"I don't think so." He lied. "Maybe she just needed to get away? Maybe that whole Chris Jericho thing just pushed her over the edge. She hasn't seemed like herself, I don't hang out with Lita and Trish so I can only tell what I saw from the outside."  
  
"Well, the only thing Lita's told me about Trish was that she seemed to be growing distant, that's all." Jeff leaned against the wall in the hospital.   
  
"Look, I'll figure something out, maybe I will call the police, they may do in that whole twenty four hour thing since she's a special circumstance. You guys were there only a few hours ago, she couldn't have gotten that far."  
  
"Yeah, yeah. I know. I'm just worried."  
  
"So am I, Jeff. So am I."  
  
+++  
  
Jeff closed the cell phone and slipped it into his jean pocket. She was gone and there were no clues where she could be.  
  
There wasn't a message from Shane that could help or a hospital calling for info on her blood type. She just vanished. Jeff knew that she wasn't kidnapped and that she had left willingly but somehow it didn't make him feel better. She was running away from her friends and family and running away never solved any problems.  
  
He grew deeper into thought and didn't hear the soft whispers coming from Lita's room but finally turned and ran back into the room as he heard Lita scream.  
  
"Lita!?" He shook her shoulders gently, her eyes fluttered open and she looked up.  
  
"Jeff?" She asked, unsure if he was part of her dream.  
  
"Yeah, Li?" He gently grabbed her hand as she pushed herself into a sitting position.  
  
"I had a bad dream." She rubbed her eyes with her free hand and yawned.  
  
"What happened?" Jeff turned and pulled a folding chair close to her bed, still keeping a gentle hold on her hand.  
  
"I found Trish with Ann. God, there was so much blood and..." Lita pulled away from his hand, burying her head in her hands. Jeff stroked the back of her hand, smoothing down her silky strands.  
  
"What happened with Ann? Who was she?"  
  
"Ann was my best friend, for years. She was everything to. When I wanted to go to punk shows, she was there in the mosh pit, beating up boys with me. Whenever I became a stripper, she didn't call me horrible names and treat me like garbage. She loved me. And I loved her."  
  
Lita rubbed her nose with the back of her hand.  
  
"She started to get upset after the death of her mother and then her brother had a job that kept him away from the family, she told me I didn't understand because none of my family members had died. She just pushed me away like Trish. I tried to, I don't know, be friends, joke with her about the first time she tried to hurt herself but after that, she just kept spiraling out of control. Slowly but surely, she kept trying little things, pills, whatever, her dad just thought it was a cry for attention until one night..."  
  
Lita thought her head would explode as images of that night passed through her head, she felt the bile rise in her throat as the image of Ann tangled in a bloody mess of sheets fell into her head once again.  
  
+++  
  
_ Lita skipped through the halls of another dimly light Motel 6 room, it was like all other nights except for one thing. Ann was there! Finally after months of begging and pleading, Ann had finally caved. And she was asleep in their king size bed in room 203.  
  
She smiled as she headed for the ice machine with two bags filled with cans of soda and all assorted munchies. This was going to be awesome, a night filled with pay per view movies, paid fully by ECW. Which was incredibly shocking but since they had made a good profit on two huge shows the previous night before, Paul seemed to be in a giving mood and she wasn't going to pass it up.  
  
As Lita filled her bucket, she hoped that this would be the beginning to the end of what Ann was doing. Lita knew all about feeling hopeless and angry but she couldn't feel exactly what Ann was going through but she would try her best now, try to keep her friend intact.   
  
Lita smiled and held the bucket near her side, she would make the greatest night ever. Something that could never be forgotten! She traveled back further down the hallway, she hoped that she hadn't be gone too long and that Ann had fallen asleep or too sleepy to rejoice in free pay per view.  
  
She unlocked the door and dropped the bags down onto the carpet, by her side.  
  
"Ann, sleepy head. I knew I shouldn't have left you here alone, you could have came with me the guy from 7-11 was flirting with me."  
  
Lita clicked her tongue as she got no response from her friend. "Fine, be that way, I'll get all the ice then, no, that's too cruel. C'mon!"  
  
The fiery red head pounced onto the bed, still holding the ice bucket. She tried moving the bed up and down by shifting slightly from side to the side, then she moved closer and pulled out an ice cube. She rubbed the wet cube along her friend's neck, knowing that it was her most ticklish spot.  
  
Lita pouted when she still got no response.  
  
"Fine, be that way. I'll just have to tickle you!"  
  
Her hands moved in to her friend's neck but she pulled back in horror to discover the cold skin of her friend.  
  
"Ann?" Lita asked as she reached over her friend's body and tried shaking the mattress, only to encounter something sticky.   
  
"What the..."  
  
Lita grabbed her friend and turned her towards her, she reached for the light switch. Light flooded the room and Lita finally got a glimpse of her friend. The blood seemed to cover everything, the headboard, the sheets, Ann.  
  
"Oh my god." Lita fell off the bed in her haste to get away. "Wake up, Ann." Lita turned her eyes to her friend, who only stared back at her with dead eyes.  
  
"No..." Lita looked down and finally noticed her hands. The dark blood coated her hands and she screamed in horror as she finally knew what happened.  
  
"No, no, no, no. Nooooo!!" She let out a blood curdling scream that seemed to arouse the whole building.   
  
Bubba dropped the magazine he was reading as soon as he heard the scream, it was Lita. He just had a bad feeling about letting her go out alone to that stupid convenience store in the middle of the night.  
  
He burst through their door with D'Von and Spike on his tail but they stopped as they saw their fellow wrestler, on the floor, covered in blood, screaming screams that didn't seem to end or begin.  
  
Bubba looked up at the girl in the bed, he walked closer to be sure and dropped to his knees when he realized who it was. He wrapped his arms around Lita, trying to do something to comfort her, but kept his eyes on the corpse in the bed.  
  
As the screams from Lita and the Oh my god's coming from Spike and D'Von faded in the background, he could only focus on the dead, lifeless eyes of his sister. Ones that used to hold light and happiness but now would never hold anything of such beauty anymore._  
  
+++  
  
"So that's why you called him..." Jeff trailed off as he finally put two and two together. No wonder why she needed him.  
  
"Yeah. I just thought, I don't know, he could help me. Talk to her a little but I guess I fucked up again."  
  
"No, c'mon. Lita, you can't control how people will feel or think or what they'll do. Trish is just angry and upset, she needs to calm down. You guys will work it out and if we need to, we'll tie her down to the bed and make her listen."  
  
Lita laughed as she gently patted his cheek. "Thanks for saying things like that. You never let me get too down. So, where did Bubba go? You told me that he'd be gone for only a little while."  
  
Crap. "He said something about needing some air." He glanced to the side before looking back at Lita.  
  
"Jeffrey, you're lying to me. I've always been able to tell. What's wrong?" Lita cocked her head to the side and studied her best friend. She knew when he lied, he could never look her directly in the eye and he seemed to play with his hands more than usual.  
  
Jeff breathed in, he opened his mouth but quickly closed it as Bubba walked into the small room.  
  
"Hey!" Lita said, brightly, giving him a smile.  
  
He returned the smile, half heartedly and settled by her side. "Hey, kid. How are you?"  
  
"Well, what do you think?" She lifted up her arm to show off her IVs.  
  
"Looks good." Bubba smiled nervously at her, knowing what was coming.  
  
"What happened, Bubba?"   
  
"Lita, I don't think..."  
  
Lita pursed her lips as she turned up to look at him. She didn't want this to turn into 'treat Lita like a piece of fine china' night. She wanted it straight, she needed it straight.   
  
"Don't lie to me, okay? Don't protect me. Don't treat me like I'm five years old, please." She pleaded. "Tell me the truth."  
  
He bit his lip as he watched the features on her face turn deadly serious.   
  
"She's not at the house, some clothes are missing, her car is too. She's gone."   
  
"Gone?" Lita asked, feeling as if everything was falling from beneath her.  
  
Bubba nodded solemnly. "I didn't find a note or anything saying that she was leaving."  
  
"No..." She whispered, shaking her head back and forth. "No, it can't be. She's... you looked everywhere right?"  
  
Before he could answer she let out a heart wrenching cry.  
  
"No! No, no. She's there. She was just upset or..." She cried, her hands covering her face. It couldn't be, she had just seen Trish hours ago, she wasn't gone, there had to be a reason she was gone.  
  
As the sobs poured from her mouth, echoed in his head and hit his heart directly, he knew he had to help. They sounded eerily similar to the ones that came from the same mouth of the little red haired diva years ago. He watched as Jeff climbed into bed with her and she grabbed hold, clinging to him for dear life, crying out everything she had left. In that moment, with the memories of Ann still fresh in his mind, Bubba vowed to make sure Trish came back safely, even if it took him forever.  
  



	7. Chapter 7

_disclaimers, notes, etc on chapter 1._  
  
+++  
  
_Two months later_  
  
+++  
  
His fingers fumbled with the clock radio that seemed to screech a Cher song into his bedroom. In his sleepy haze, he turned up the volume, instead of turning it down. He growled as his level of anger rose with each word she sang.  
  
_If I Could Turn Back Time  
If I Could Find..._  
  
Finally having enough of this crap, he grabbed the radio and ripped it from it's socket, sending it crashing to the floor as he let go, another broken clock at the hands of a frustrated Dudley.  
  
"Stupid clock." Bubba moaned as he snuggled back into his covers. "Had two more hours of good sleep before wake up time."  
  
He turned over and encountered the warm body next to him, he knew it was her, he knew she had probably had another nightmare or she had been too afraid to sleep alone. It reminded him of Ann in the best possible way, a little girl frightened by the unknown wanting to sleep with big brother.  
  
Bubba brushed a few stray hairs away from Lita's mouth and chuckled as she let out a loud snore.  
  
Settling back into a comfortable position on his side, he kept his eyes on Lita, watching every small movement that the girl beside him made. He knew he should sleep, get a few more hours in before the rush of phone calls about sightings of Trish or more wrestlers asking for updates and for more flyers to put up in the next town on the stop on their tour, but he couldn't, he wanted to protect her more than anything, both Jeff and Lita.   
  
They were too young to go it alone, the way he tried to do. He knew they'd end up bitter and angry like him and he just couldn't let it happen. He heard another noise that sounded like a yawn, a few feet away from the bed. Bubba rubbed his eyes as they focused on a sleeping Hardy, in his leather recliner, with a small quilt over his body.  
  
Bubba smiled, even though it was hard times, he did enjoy the company of the duo and the way they smiled at each other, the wisecracks they loved to spout back and forth.   
  
They also had their share of bad times in the last two months, every false lead or prank played on them by some stupid fan. The fact that the police on both sides of the border didn't seem interested in chasing a suicidal celebrity didn't help matters. When it got quiet and all the phones stopped ringing, when Jeff decided to sit out on the porch and drink a little, Lita would shut herself in her room and cry.  
  
Bubba took another look at her before finally closing his eyes and falling back asleep. Hopefully, today would bring good news.  
  
+++  
  
Jeff hurried over to the collection of phones in the middle of Bubba's living room as two began to ring.  
  
"Trish Stratus missing person's center, please hold. Trish Stratus missing person's center, how may I help you?" He politely spoke as he dropped four sugar cubes into a glass of hot coffee.  
  
"Oh, alright, we'll get those mailed out to you as soon as possible, okay? Thank you for supporting us. Alright, bye bye. Hello, Trish Stratus missing person's center, how may I help you?"  
  
He listened to the caller for a moment, jotting down a few notes about the next sighting of Trish. This time she seemed to be in Biloxi, working in a diner, going by the name Lynne. He lit up as Lita and Bubba entered the room and he waved, giving them a smile, pointing to the two cups on the desk in front of him.  
  
Bubba mouthed a thank you as he grabbed his cup and Lita gently kissed Jeff on the cheek as she grabbed hers and headed to the kitchen to work on some more on labeling fliers. He blushed but didn't let her see it, he turned to face Bubba who was grinning at him. He shook his head gently and wrote down the callers phone number.  
  
"Alright, thank you for calling, uh huh, thank you. Bye bye." Jeff hung up the phone and sighed. "So, Trish is a waitress in Alabama, she's a maid in Montana and apparently, she's working as a used car saleswoman in Albany."  
  
"Whole lotta nothing, huh?" Bubba asked.  
  
"Yep." Jeff nodded, hanging his head. "We've got a few donations from the guys, enough to cover mailing costs of the fliers and it'll cover about half of the printing costs of the bumper stickers."  
  
"That's good. I'm going to go check my cell phone and you keep plugging away." He walked towards the kitchen but stopped and turned to Jeff. "Oh and Jeff, she likes you too." He winked at the younger guy who just bashfully smiled and turned his attention to other matters.  
  
Bubba's house had seemed to turn into a headquarters for finding Trish, the two kids working their butts off in the living room and kitchen, had moved in with him, they all worked hard to get Trish's picture and the word out on her. It had been two months, two months of hell with no valuable leads at all.  
  
The only thing that known about her disappearance was that it didn't show any of the signs of a kidnapping, her money had been drained from her account and bank surveillance videos showed Trish happily withdrawing her money and out to her car with no one around to force her to do any of those things.  
  
Bubba sighed when the only messages left on his cell phone message box were friends from old organizations sending good thoughts his way.  
  
He headed back into the living room and into the kitchen, he took a final sip of his coffee before heading over to the machine to pour some more. He watched as Lita quickly slapped on labels for multicolored fliers, asking for donations or tips on Trish's disappearance. Lita had taken some time off from the WWE to help out, she seemed better off here than pretending to be happy in some ring doing a hurricanrana.  
  
"How are you holding up, kid?"  
  
Lita smiled as she slapped on another label. "Aye aye captain, doing okay!"  
  
"You seem cheery today."   
  
He settled into a chair and grabbed a stack of fliers, helping thin out the pile.  
  
"I've got coffee and I'm on a good start today."   
  
"Didn't have a nightmare last night, huh?"  
  
She didn't react, her hand kept going back and forth from the labels to the fliers, stacking them up, higher and higher. He reached over and stopped her hand from moving for a minute, she glanced back up at him and nodded.  
  
"Jeff had fallen asleep on the couch and I was alone and... I just got scared, I hope you didn't mind."  
  
He released her hand, gently rubbing it. "Of course I don't. He was on my chair last night."  
  
"Jeff?"  
  
"Yep." He nodded as she shoved a stack of labeled fliers out of the way.  
  
She smiled and dropped another stack of fliers into a bin beside her chair. "Well, fliers for most of Southern Idaho are done."   
  
She rubbed her wrist a little as she slipped off her chair to grab some more sugar cubes from the cupboards. "Think they'll actually do any good?"   
  
He shrugged as he took a sip from his cup. "Hopefully."  
  
"Hey, you guys!" Jeff came bounding into the kitchen, his voice filled with excitement, waving his cell phone at them.  
  
"David called from California with a follow up on the lead we got from that woman and he says it looks a lot like Trish. He's emailing some photos right now!"  
  
And as quickly as he came, he was gone, waiting beside the computer for his incoming email. Lita and Bubba looked at each other, knowing that this would probably be another fluke, knowing that it was probably just another chick with blonde hair and a tiny bit of a figure but that didn't stop them from smiling at each other and running out to the living room, taking the space on both sides of Jeff, who was sitting on Bubba's ottoman.  
  
"He said he was so sure it was her."   
  
"Yeah, did he seem drunk?" Lita snarked. "Bubba, honestly, I don't see why you pay him, he's not much of a private eye."  
  
"He's a friend from way back, Lita. He's found people before."  
  
Lita shrugged and turned her attention back to the screen. Bubba gave her a sideways glance before turning his eyes to the monitor too.  
  
_You've Got Mail_  
  
Jeff squealed and opened last piece of mail in the box and clicked 'download attachment'  
  
They waited in silence as the zipped folder downloaded. Bubba could hear Jeff whisper something over and over, it sounded almost as if he were praying but he couldn't be sure.  
  
_Download complete._  
  
Bubba swallowed as Jeff opened the folder and clicked on the first photo, Lita closed her eyes and crossed her fingers, hoping it really would be the big break. She heard them swear softly and opened her eyes, only to spot a blurry photo on the desktop.  
  
"Fucking bastard. Trish isn't pudgy looking and this girl, she's not even blonde!" She cursed.   
  
"Hey, she could have dyed her hair!" Jeff spoke up only to have Lita glare at him.   
  
"Stop being so optimistic! It's annoying."  
  
"I know a little something about hair dye." He huffed as he turned away from her.  
  
Jeff squinted his eyes and clicked open another photo. There were twenty five in all, most of them were blurry shots of a dark brown or black haired girl, doing various things outside of a large home. Mostly gardening, watering the lawn. And there were a few others of the woman, driving a blue car, shopping at a supermarket, talking to another woman.  
  
"Couldn't he afford a camera with better zoom?" Lita asked.  
  
Jeff rolled his eyes and handed Bubba the cell phone. "He asked for you to call. I really think it is her, Bubba."  
  
Bubba looked down at phone in his hand and then to Jeff's eyes, they always seemed so hopeful and open. He shook his head as he snatched the phone from his palm.  
  
"I'll be back."  
  
Bubba headed out to through the den and out onto the patio. He dialed the number and waited for David to pick up.  
  
"Marisino." The voice on the other end seemed tough, someone you didn't want to make angry.  
  
"It's me."   
  
"Oh, hey, kid." His voice softened as he realized who it was. Bubba listened for a moment to the deep sigh on the other end before he spoke.  
  
"So, is it?" He asked, knowing that David didn't need many words.  
  
"Bubba, you know I've only sent you info about the most promising leads and this really does seem like it. There's just something there. Yeah, she seems a bit out of shape and she does have dark brown hair but her face, it's still... I just know."  
  
Bubba nodded. He knew he could trust David with these sort of things, even in the previous times he had sent info he had told them that he didn't think it was her but this time he couldn't help but hear the hope in his voice.   
  
"Alright. So, where is she? Do you have any info on what she's doing?"  
  
"She's in northern California, it's a small town around Sacramento called Henrickson. Sorta suburban, sorta country. I'm doing a check on the house to see what the renters info comes out as."  
  
"Okay, since you think this is good. I'll fly out and you can give me the rest of the info, I can check it out. I'll probably bring Jeff to tag along, he's known her for longer, he'll be able to maybe tell by body language." Bubba shrugged as he turned around, only to see the faces of Lita and Jeff squished up against the den's picture window. He frowned and they pulled away from the window, giving him slightly shrugs and slight grins.  
  
"Hmm, that's a good idea. Call me when you get to the airport, I'll pick you two up and take you around the area but remember if she sees you, she may run again."  
  
"I understand that. Thanks again. Goodbye."  
  
Closing the cell phone, he kept his eyes on it for a moment. Could it be? Two months of sending out fliers, calling people for help, sleeping very little. Would it really pay off? So lost in thought, Bubba didn't see the two eager people in front of him but he certainly felt them when he slammed into them, sending them to the floor.   
  
"Okay, first, ow." He whined, rubbing his chest as they picked themselves off the floor.  
  
"Ow? You? I just got my ass handed to me by a stomach." Jeff joked as he dusted off his pants.  
  
"What happened?" Lita asked, pushing past Jeff, who frowned as she did so.  
  
"Well, if it is her, she's in California, small town USA. He's going to figure out some stuff about the house, who owns it, who's renting it. In the meantime, Jeff, you and I are going to go check it out."  
  
"Why can't I go?"   
  
"You guys had that fight right before she left. I just don't think it's the best idea."  
  
"Oh, okay. That's alright, I can stay here, keep track of calls and stuff." She said, disappointment filled her features.  
  
Bubba moved forward, placing his hand on her shoulder.  
  
"Lita..."  
  
"No, it's okay. It's fine."  
  
She shrugged his hand away and quickly left the room, her arms wrapped tightly around her frame.  
  
"I'll go. You get some plane tickets ready."   
  
Jeff quickly followed Lita, winding through the living room, ignoring a ringing phone and down a hallway, stopping at the door to her room. He softly knocked and waited for an answer, when none was heard. He opened the door, closing it behind him.  
  
Lita was sitting with her back to him, she sniffled and rubbed her nose with the back of her hand.  
  
"It's not your fault." He said, walking slowly to her side.  
  
"Then why do I feel it is?" She asked, her voice filled with hurt.  
  
"Because us humans are stupid, we try to reason how things go wrong, why they go bad and when we can't figure it out we end up blaming ourselves in the end because we're the only ones left behind to place the blame on."  
  
She shrugged, her eyes still downcast.   
  
"She was depressed, Lita. Depressed people do..." He trailed off as he watched her body shake, her hands came to her face, covering it as the tears began to pour.  
  
"I just don't know why it has to happen to the people I love." She cried.  
  
"I don't know either." He settled next to her, wrapping his arm around her shoulder, pulling her into his embrace. "I don't know."   
  
He rubbed her back slowly, soothing her slowly as she stopped crying.   
  
"Thanks for being a friend." She whispered into his shirt before she pulled away a bit.  
  
"I'm always here for you, remember that."  
  
She tried her best to muster up a smile for him.   
  
"Thank you." She said, genuinely.  
  
He smiled and brought his lips down, placing a gently kiss on her forehead. He pulled back and noticed something different... there was a spark, something there, something new in her eyes. Jeff leaned down a bit further and gently kissed her lips. He half expected a slap, half expected her to ask him what the hell he was doing but she did neither, instead, she wrapped her arm around his neck, kissing him back.  
  
They got lost in each other for a tiny moment before being brought back to earth by Bubba's booming voice.  
  
"I got the tickets, come on, Jeff!"   
  
Jeff winced and pulled away from her, heading to the door. He looked back at her for a moment.  
  
"We'll talk later." He whispered, as he closed the door.  
  
She sat there long after she heard the engine of Bubba's car fade away.  
  
+++  
  
The two men sat in the van, watching the dark house near the end of Bishop Lane. David thought they were insane for wanting to immediately go out and stake out the house, he tried to reason with them that the results of the search for who was living in the home would be faxed over during the morning hours of the next day but they didn't care.  
  
It had been two months of worrying about whether their girl, as they now dubbed her, was dead in some ditch, a Jane Doe in some coroners locker. They wouldn't sleep now, not until they got a glance of her.  
  
Jeff glanced at his watch and sighed. Midnight. His fingers tapped against the dashboard, waiting in anticipation.  
  
"Think it'll be her?" Jeff asked, turning to Bubba, who was staring at the woman's front door.  
  
"Hopefully." He replied, his eyes still attached to the red door.  
  
"Y'know I think..." He stopped as he heard a giggle that sounded extremely familiar.  
  
"What?"   
  
"Shh!" Jeff hushed him as he looked down the sidewalk, away from her house.  
  
There were two girls walking closely together, laughing and walking quickly towards them, he watched in awe as the girl's face came closer, it couldn't be...  
  
"Oh my god." Jeff kept his eyes on them as they inched closer.  
  
"What?"  
  
"It can't be..."  
  
"What!?" He asked, agitated with Jeff's vagueness. Bubba unbuckled his seat belt and leant over Jeff, his eyes fixed on the girl as she flashed a smile to her friend. That same smile she would flash to the boys backstage.  
  
"Holy..."  
  
It was Trish.  
  
+++  
  
  
_I know, the suspense was short but I suck at it, so on with the story. Hope you enjoyed._


	8. Chapter 8

_Disclaimers, story info, etc. on chapter one_  
  
+++   
  
"...Shit."  
  
"Get down." Jeff hissed and pushed Bubba away from him and back into the drivers seat, they both quickly climbed in the back and ducked down behind the seats before the women could see them.  
  
They struggled a bit to try to find a comfortable position behind the seats to be able to see out of the windshield but without putting themselves at risk of being seen.  
  
"You've got your foot in my ass." Jeff whispered, his voice strained as he tried to pull his foot out from under himself.  
  
"Sorry."  
  
Bubba grunted as he pulled his leg away from Jeff, they both got to their knees and slowly looked past the front seats only to see Trish and her companion stopped a few feet away from the front of their van.  
  
"Ah!" Jeff squeaked as he fell behind the seat again.  
  
"Shut up!" Bubba fiercely whispered as he closed his eyes and tried to focus on the sounds from the outside.  
  
+++  
  
They stopped and watched the car rock back and forth just a tiny bit, they could see movement inside but decided to move on instead of disturbing the happy lovers.  
  
"How do you know that people inside are having hot, hot sex?" Victoria glanced back at the car but kept walking alongside her pal, Patricia.  
  
"I just know, you heard that squeak. That can only come from a girl, Vic."  
  
Victoria considered this by stopping again, a mischievous grin creeped onto her face as she looked at Trish.  
  
"No..." Trish warned, wagging her finger at the woman.  
  
"Yes!" She laughed as she ran to the side of the van.  
  
"Victoria!"  
  
She chased after her, finally catching up as she stopped by the side of the van, her face up against the glass, trying to somehow look past the tinted windows.  
  
"Oh my god, Bubba." Jeff squealed as he hid his face in his hands but Bubba couldn't, he kept his eyes on Trish who was standing beside what seemed to be her friend, Victoria, looking extremely nervous. There she was, he could just reach out and touch her. She was alive.  
  
"This is somebody's car, hello!" Trish pointed out, waving her arms frantically.  
  
"So?"   
  
Victoria squinted and used her hands as a shield to cover the glare from the lamp overhead. She sighed when she couldn't even see the slightest of movement from inside the van.  
  
"Stupid people with tinted glass. You're not famous, you don't need it!"  
  
She kicked the curb and hopped back on the sidewalk.   
  
"Done?" Trish asked, her hands perched on her hips.  
  
"Yup yup. Why do people have tinted glass? Seriously. You're not famous."  
  
Trish shrugged, her mind lingering on the word famous. "Maybe cause they like doing it on streets in the middle of the night?"  
  
"I guess."   
  
They continued their way down the sidewalk, heading for the homes.  
  
"So, how'd you like the movie?"  
  
"It was good. Hugh's cute." Trish giggled as Victoria sneered, knowing that her comment about Hugh Grant would set her off.  
  
"Ew, yuck, he's too girly. I like my men all buff and hot and capable of climbing a fence." She snarked. "I wonder what it would be like to be famous. Julia's so pretty. Photo shoots, designer clothes..."   
  
Victoria went on and on even as they reached her fence, dreamily naming off the perks of stardom.  
  
"Wouldn't it be fun!?" Victoria asked, opening her gate and stepping inside onto the path.  
  
"Yeah." Trish said, indifferent.   
  
"Are you okay?"  
  
"I'm just tired."  
  
"Go get some sleep. I'll be over tomorrow to annoy you." Victoria hugged her before turning and heading up her steps.  
  
Trish grinned and waved goodbye, before turning to go home, she took one last glance of the van. It didn't look out of place, there was just something odd about it being there. She shook if off and slipped past her gate and disappeared behind her front door.  
  
+++  
  
"She's alive."   
  
Jeff pushed himself off from the floor and onto the seat beside the two.  
  
"She's really alive. I should be extremely happy but I'm just so scared now. What are we going to do?" Jeff turned to the older man who was still sitting on the carpeted floor.   
  
"I don't know." He answered. "I don't think we need a repeat of what happened in Toronto but how else are we going to get through to her besides talking?"  
  
Bubba shook his head as he climbed into the drivers seat, Jeff followed his actions and buckled his seat belt.  
  
"I'll talk to her."  
  
"Jeff..."  
  
"We've been really close and..."  
  
"And you saw what happened when Lita talked to her."  
  
"Bubba, Trish and I, we went out, we're not two girls ready to claw at each other. I can do this, I can make her understand."  
  
Bubba nodded and started up the car, he sighed as he put the car in drive. He was unsure about this, Jeff and Lita were similar emotionally, as far as he could tell from the two months he spent with the two. He didn't want the same thing happening to Jeff.  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"More than anything." Jeff shot back, quickly. He looked so hopeful, so in need of him accepting the offer.  
  
"Tomorrow."  
  
"Okay."  
  
As they drove away from the end of the street, Jeff looked back at the house, it didn't look like Trish's style at all, it seemed so country, so rustic. He turned his head back to the road, he'd help, he'd make her understand that people loved her no matter what.  
  
Trish watched the van as it drove down the street, she didn't want to be paranoid about something so silly. It was just a van, Irene probably got it for her day care center.   
  
Just a burgundy van that didn't mean anything to her or her new life but why did it drive away as she entered her home?  
  
She set her keys in the bowl on top of the table by the door and toed off her shoes, she would sleep on it. It probably was nothing, right?  
  
+++  
  
The morning passed like any other morning in Henrickson, the birds danced around her bedroom morning at seven, singing their songs happily, usually waking her up.  
  
But this morning she's already awake before the birds even make their visit, sitting on her futon in the middle of her living room. She didn't sleep very much and when did she slipped into a nightmare that left a dull ache in the front of her head for the rest of the morning.  
  
The nightmare had been filled with the van that she had seen that night. Of course, she was being paranoid. There was no one inside to hurt her or try to bring her back home.  
  
And she wouldn't go even if there was.  
  
She's built herself a life in this small town in just two months, more so than she ever did back in Toronto. There were no fans asking for an autograph when she shopped at the local grocery store, there were no prying eyes when she headed out to get a USA today.  
  
It was simple, everything was so simple now.   
  
And she loved it.  
  
She knew every neighbor on her street, Irene, who ran the day care center and always invited her over to play with the kids. And there was Leslie and her husband Andrew, both 60 years young, who treated her with such kindness that she had never known before.   
  
They were the life she had always wanted.   
  
But she was hiding. She always worried that some fan would stare at her face too long, see past the basic make-up and chubbier than usual cheeks and see the done up, glamor girl that she once was.  
  
And she carried secrets that made her ashamed of who she was. And every day of her life, when she looked at herself in the mirror, it reminded her that she was weak and stupid.  
  
As soon as she opened her eyes in that hospital, she knew that she had to leave. It was too late to fix anything then, so she would have to drop off the face of the earth. Leave Trish Stratus behind and welcome Patricia until the things that needed to be fixed, could be done.  
  
She knew that her friends and family were probably worried sick but she couldn't help that. She needed this time for herself, she needed to be alone for a while.  
  
Maybe one day she'd contact them, a letter with no return address. She missed them, she really did but they would be ashamed too. Her mother would call her a whore and her father would disown her, her sisters would sneer and her friends would be terribly disappointed.  
  
Trish glanced up at the clock on the wall and gasped, it was nearly noon. She had lost track of time when she should be preparing the food for her daily tea time with Victoria. Their little ritual had been going on for a little more than a month, Trish would provide the tea and Victoria would bring over her banana muffins and they'd talk and get to know each other more.  
  
Victoria knew that she ran but she didn't know where from. Victoria understood that sometimes life got to you and you needed a break, she didn't prod too much. Conversations sometimes headed a bit too much over into her old life, she didn't mind it though, she knew Victoria wasn't going to go screaming to the world that she had found the missing wrestler. She knew nothing of the WWE.  
  
Trish placed the kettle full of water on her stove and took a seat at the table. Her house here was completely different from the one in Toronto, back there, glass and odd patterns ruled. Here, a country kitchen, complete with cutesy decorations. A strong wooden table that sat off to the side.  
  
It was different from what was but it was better in many ways, it was comforting, something that was definitely needed during this time in her life.   
  
There was a knock at her door that rattled her out of her thoughts, she took a look at the clock and squinted, it wasn't quite noon yet.  
  
Trish quickly made her way through the kitchen and into the living, she pulled her robe from off of one of her lazy boys and tugged it on.  
  
"I'm coming, Victoria!" She yelled.  
  
She ripped open the door and gasped at the person that stood before her. She couldn't cover up her gasp with a cough and a 'thank you, we don't want what you're selling.'   
  
He looked so different, how could someone change so much after two months? He was haggard, tired of... something. She couldn't know. He just keeps staring, milking in whatever she's become.  
  
She's a bit heavier, probably cause she hasn't been working out. Why would you need to when you're sitting pretty in a little house in the country? Nothing else is different besides the hair, the blonde is gone and a chestnut color has taken over. Her brown curls seemed to stand better with her tanned skin.  
  
He doesn't know what to do next, he had planned a little about what to say with Bubba but nothing ever works out in most plans, there's always something that fails. And now his mouth is failing and all he can do is stare at her, she's alive, she's breathing, she's right in front of him.  
  
But she's so far away.  
  
She breaks the silence with a whisper. "Jeff?"  
  
And that's when he falls apart.  
  
+++  
  
_Well, that was short again but I've been busy with work and school and stuff. I just want to thank you all for the review, really, when I get a good review, even a bad one it makes me want to keep writing, so thanks._


	9. Chapter 9

_Well, I would like to give a big thanks to Sweet Steffie for reviewing! Oh and of course, each and every one of you for reviewing. I'm up to 18 reviews (my highest amount of reviews on any of my stories!) and even though I never say so, reviews really do fuel my desire to write so... -nudge, nudge, wink, wink- Heh, kidding. Hope you enjoy this chapter, I'm hoping that the next one will come sooner than this one did._   
  
---  
  
He told himself he wouldn't do this, he wouldn't just become a sobbing mess when he saw her but there was just so much he had held back. He had been the strong one for Lita, he held her while she cried, he had whispered the soothing words he knew she desperately needed to hear.  
  
But now he just couldn't hold back, she was alive. She was alive! He should be singing from the rooftops that he had found her, he was in the same room as the girl that he been searching from coast to coast for.  
  
She didn't know what to do, he was still standing there on her porch with fat tears rolling down his cheeks. Trish would run to his side, comfort him until the sun died in the sky and would gently sing him to sleep as the stars shined in the sky.  
  
But Trish was no more, she was Patricia. She was alone in this cold, dark world with no one but a few friends and Jeff wasn't one of them, she wasn't caring, she wasn't the one to hold someone. So, why did she feel so torn up inside? If she was Patricia, why did she want to hold him for all of eternity?  
  
His cries began to die off, ending slowly. As he calmed, he kept his eyes on her, she was pale, she didn't seem sickly in fact she looked healthy. Her hair was a bit longer than before and now it was dyed a dark brown, back to her natural color. She still did the nervous Trish hand wringing.  
  
The silence was growing and he didn't know what he could say to break it, so he thought of the question that seemed to enter his mind every hour of the day.  
  
"Why?"  
  
She couldn't tell him the truth, the truth would just lead to another web that neither Jeff or Lita would ever be ready for.  
  
"Jeff, you're not... you shouldn't be here."  
  
She definitely seemed nervous, her fingers gripped the edge of the wooden door and she kept her eyes on him, unsure of his motives. He didn't expect a marching band or a party or god, a hug. He just wanted a smile from her, a tiny flash of teeth but an unfamiliar frown was on her lips.  
  
"I'm not... What?!" He asked, angrily. No, he did not travel 2,000 some odd miles just to get the brush off like Lita did.  
  
"We've been looking for you for a couple months and-and-and… No!" He yelled, he slapped his palm onto the door, sending it flying open, startling Trish as the door hit the table beside the door, sending the contents of the bowl and the bowl onto the floor.   
  
"What the hell is wrong with you?" She asked, furious with his intrusion.  
  
"There's something wrong with me, huh? A day after you try to kill yourself, you leave! With no note to say 'Hey, don't worry about me, I need some time.' or fuck just a 'I love you, I'm sorry, bye!'"  
  
He let out a harsh breath, lowering his voice but keeping the pressure on her. He didn't wanna leave without answers, this is what he came for, to figure out why she left, there would be no more unanswered questions. "What the hell is wrong with you? Forget about me and Lita, you leave your family behind. You don't even take care of your house, you quit your job and just run away. Why!?"   
  
It took her a moment to regain some sense of composure, she had seen her little Jeffy turn from a terribly sad young man to an angry guy who had waited way too long to hear things from her that he desperately wanted to hear. Well, tough. Sometimes you didn't get what you want in life. Trish didn't, why the hell should, Jeff?  
  
She knew that becoming angry was unreasonable but these damn hormones were getting to her and Jeff was jumping up and down on her last nerve.  
  
"Because god damn it, it's none of your business! It's no one's. I'm a grown woman and I can do whatever the fuck I wanna do, now get out."  
  
"No!" He shouted back.  
  
"What do you mean, no? This is my house!"  
  
"No, it's not. You live in Toronto. You own your house, you don't rent this country cabin. This isn't you, Trish. What happened, why did you go?"  
  
She fumed at the idea of him telling her who she was. She thought he'd be able to handle this better considering the problems he had to deal with in his life. And then he said something that broke her back.  
  
"I just want to help."  
  
"You want to help, huh?" She whispered.  
  
Inside, he wondered if her new tone signaled a chance for the better.  
  
"Trish, that's all I've ever wanted to do."  
  
"Just like when I helped you, Jeffy?"  
  
He nodded, smiling a bit, remembering the times she held his hand when he finally asked for help with his drug problem.  
  
"You know..." Her voice took on a dream like tone, remembering their days together fondly. "I remember when you needed me, when you asked for help. Well, Jeff, I'm fine. I just needed some time away, I don't need any help, I'm not a junkie who needs help to get my life on track."  
  
She drew out the word junkie, it had bite, an edge to it. A tiny smirk appeared on her lips but it quickly disappeared as this look of sheer horror filled his features.   
  
He didn't see a knife in her hand but he knew what she had done, she had stabbed him right in the place where it could hurt the most. He knew that she had done it just to get him angry but it had the exact opposite effect on him. He had never been called a junkie before, well, by the fans and some losers on random Internet chat rooms but never by someone who was supposed to care.  
  
And god, did it hurt.   
  
But he pulled himself together, trying to gather some strength to walk out of the room.   
  
"I may be a junkie but you're as fucked up as I am, trying to kill yourself over a prick like Jericho. You can run to the ends of the earth to get away from us but I can tell you, you can't run away from the person you've become now, you are a miserable bitch who can go to hell." He harshly whispered before he violently slammed the door shut.  
  
The words that were reserved for the men who hurt his two girls seemed to pass his lips easily as he described Trish but it was hell on the inside, he didn't even notice the girl he bumped into who was climbing Trish's steps.  
  
He didn't know if he meant any of it, he didn't know if he could take any of it back but those thoughts got pushed away by the word that kept ramming its ugly head back into the forefront.  
  
Junkie.  
  
Junkie.   
  
Junkie.  
  
He quickly got into the rental, not noticing the stares from Victoria at the top of Trish's steps.  
  
Vic rang the doorbell and Trish stepped out, just in time to watch the car slowly make its way away from the house.  
  
"Who was that?" Victoria asked, keeping her eyes on the car.  
  
"Nobody." She whispered as she ushered Victoria into her home.   
  
---   
  
He was shivering by the time he headed into the shop, he headed to the aisle that he used to frequent regularly, they were always in the same spot in every store, all the way on the right side of the store, against the wall, hidden away from little children.   
  
He stood there for what seemed like hours, his eyes unfocused, blurred by the tears that wasn't stopping. In the distance, the muzak that played through the store's speaker system. He listened for a moment and let out a harsh laugh as he finally pinpointed what it was. Don't worry, be happy.  
  
"Fuck you, life." He spat out as the muzak continued to irk him, be happy, be happy, don't worry, don't worry.  
  
He grabbed a few random bottles from the shelves in front of him, it didn't matter what it was, all that mattered was that he needed it, just a few drops would be what the doctor ordered.  
  
He paid for his liquor and settled into the drivers seat, he pulled out the first bottle and didn't hesitate. He grimaced as the first drop of alcohol touched his lips, the vodka burned his throat as it quickly went down, he coughed a little and took a few more swigs.   
  
As he kept the drink coming, he didn't realize how quickly he got back into it, it wasn't hard, there was no more burning, it felt like home again. It made him feel better about the night, the days, the months.   
  
Jeff dropped the half empty bottle beside him on the seat and put the car in drive. Trish was right, he was just a junkie.  
  
Junkie.  
  
Junkie.  
  
Junkie.  
  
---  
  
Bubba was a bit worried, Jeff had been gone for six and a half hours and it was beginning to grow dark, for the first three hours he was hopeful that maybe Jeff had made a breakthrough with Trish but as the third hour faded away and hours four and five came round, he wondered if something worse happened.  
  
He hated to worry about Jeff, he was a grown man but in so many ways he was still so vulnerable, especially when it came to Trish. Jeff spent many nights talking about his relationship with Trish and how it quickly crumbled and even though he would always feel something inside for her, that there was no way that they could make it work.  
  
He flipped the TV off and threw a few shirts into his bag. Bubba couldn't help but think time had been wasted on Trish. Even though it hurt to think so, he just wondered if trying to bring her back would cause more bad than good.  
  
He zipped his second bag closed and grabbed the other and walked to the van, throwing his stuff in, he wondered for a moment if the pair was having a nice chat, maybe some hugs and kisses. He smiled as closed the van's sliding door. If Jeff wanted to stay, he would understand but that didn't mean he needed to stay. Of course, he cared what happened to Trish and wanted her to be okay but she wouldn't care about him.  
  
Bubba settled onto the bed, checking the clock again. He had done this for Jeff and Lita and in some ways, the memory of his sister. He knew about suicide and what happened but if she had been able to live alone, for two months. Maybe she'd make it. And she probably wouldn't need his advice anyway.  
  
He was quickly brought back to reality as someone pounded on his door, he quickly got up and opened the door.  
  
Bubba nearly gagged at the stench of alcohol that filled his nose. It was David Marisino, holding up an extremely drunk Jeff Hardy.  
  
Drunk.   
  
Jeff Hardy was drunk.  
  
David pulled the dead weight of Jeff and slowly let him fall onto the bed, Jeff had enough strength left in him to curl into a little ball.  
  
"What happened?" Bubba asked, as he moved onto the bed to check Jeff.  
  
"I found him in the parking lot, clutching a bottle, he kept mumbling something. I thought he was clean, Bubba."  
  
"He is." Bubba insisted. "He is, damn it!"  
  
He pulled the bottle from his grip and dropped it onto the carpet, splashing clear liquid all over, soaking the white carpet.  
  
"Jeff, hey look at me." He gave a gentle slap to the nearly limp boy's cheek and tried to get him to focus his eyes on him. "What happened?"  
  
Jeff looked up at his friend, his eyes filled with tears. "I'm jus' a junkie, Bub. She said I wa' jus' a junk... junkie. It was so short, Bub. She jus' tore inta me."  
  
"Who?" Bubba prodded. "Tris'" He whispered before he laid his head back onto the bed, falling asleep almost immediately, drained from her comments and all the booze he had consumed.  
  
Bubba smoothed the blue hair away from Jeff's face and felt the anger flare inside of him, he grabbed the keys from the top of the dresser.  
  
"Stay with him." He barked, quickly slamming the door behind him.   
  
He drove fast, darting in and out of cars, he didn't care if the cops wrote him thirty fat tickets, he needed to get there fast before his fury faded away. Although, he was sure that even if it took him a week to get there, this awful emotion would still be boiling inside of him.  
  
Bubba drove even faster as he headed down the lane, the tires of the van screeched loudly as the van came to a halt by the sidewalk.  
  
He jumped out and made his way past her gate, making sure to give it a hard slam, he heard the squeak and a thump behind him, he didn't bother to look back but if he had, he would have seen the broken fence, laying on the pathway.   
  
Bubba knocked furiously, his knuckles beating harder against the wood of her door. When the door opened, he pushed past her and into her living room, he turned and took her in for a moment, noting the changes in her appearance for a second.  
  
Before she could open her mouth to protest, he held up his hand.   
  
"Don't say a fucking word." He warned. "You and I are going to have a long, long talk."  
  



	10. Chapter 10

_Thanks for the reviews! Oh, I love you! Each and every one of you and you know, reviews fed this actually. Anyway, I'm sorry if this is too short but I work that way and uh, enjoy this chapter. Thanks again for reading._   
  
It was... Bubba? Of all the people in the world to show up on her doorstep, Bubba never even entered her mind.  
  
"What are..."  
  
"Shut up, right now. I'm going to talk right now and you're going to listen, I don't care if you don't care I just need you to know that you've completely destroyed both of your friends in a matter of months." He said, his voice wavered, filled with so much anger that he was afraid he couldn't contain.  
  
"And you are out here in Mayberry... alive."   
  
He looked her up and down, shaking his head lightly, disgusted.  
  
"You really don't know what they went through. You don't know how many times I've heard Lita crying, you don't know how many times I've seen her stare at your picture and fuck, you're out here, alive! Alive! I've heard that so many times from Jeff."   
  
She had never seen anyone so angry, his body seemed on fire, his voice was weary but strong and it didn't seem likely that he would stop talking, so she watched and listened and winced at the mention of Lita. If they only knew why. They'd understand, they'd know.  
  
"You're not even listening, you don't care how much they care. Hey, you wanna see how much they care? Here."   
  
He pulled out a folded piece of paper from his pocket and threw it at her, she caught it before it hit the ground. She unfolded it slowly and her eyes widened at the face staring back at her. It was her own.  
  
"Yeah, two months of printing flyers. They set up a phone bank, that sort of crap that happens in telethons."  
  
She traced the word 'Missing Person' with her finger, it was surreal. They had all the appropriate info, three pictures, two personal photos and a publicity photo that they had just shot a month before she left. Smiling, happy. Something that she longed for now.   
  
She read the address at the bottom, noting the New York address and felt something sink deep inside as she read... Trish Stratus Missing Person's Center.  
  
"You just... I can't help but having so many emotions when I... I don't know you, Trish. I-"  
  
She snapped her head up as she heard her name, no, that wasn't her name. She was Patricia, she had a new life, she was Patricia Stevenson. Patricia. God damn it, why were they trying so hard?  
  
"Get out." She whispered, interrupting him. She crushed the piece of paper in her hand and threw it at him. "Get out!"  
  
"No!" He shouted back, deflecting the ball. "I am not leaving, I'm not Jeff, I'm not Lita. I'm not fragile like they are. I am not leaving until you tell me why you left."  
  
"I don't have to tell you a damn thing." She growled.  
  
"You don't but just know that I won't leave until you do." He responded, calmly.   
  
"I'll call the police." She screamed, frustrated. He wasn't budging, he wasn't going to flee like them.   
  
"Go ahead, turn yourself in. We made sure to have a flyer posted in every police station in every county, every state, every province in Canada and the United States." He leaned against her couch, folding his arms over his chest.   
  
She wasn't going to get off easily, he knew that she was probably fine here and that she had a merry little life here but no, life wasn't easy. You don't just run off, leaving your life behind, your friends, your family without getting some sort of a hassle. She deserves this, he knew she did.   
  
"I'm... you just don't know, Bubba. You... Please, just go."   
  
He shook his head. "Not until you tell me why you put your friends and family through such hell."  
  
"God damn it! You're not my friend, okay. You shouldn't care so much, why the hell do you care!? Huh? Go away. Can't you guys see I'm alive and kicking? I'm not going to rip my wrists open again, don't worry about that. It's not Lita's fault, it's not Jeffy's fault. They don't have to worry."  
  
He sighed, shaking his head once again. "I think that they're a bit past lecturing you, I think they just want their friend back."  
  
"I'm not their friend anymore!" She screamed.  
  
"And I want to know why." He stated firmly.  
  
She sighed. "Bubba, I'm going to be nice, please, leave my home. I'm begging you."  
  
"No."  
  
"Fuck! Fine, I'm going into my kitchen and if you're not gone within five minutes, I'm going to leave again and this time, no one will find me, I'll make sure of it."  
  
Their eyes locked and he knew she wasn't kidding but it also conveyed something else, something that she wouldn't admit to, fear. Something was up and he knew that she was building this wall for some reason.  
  
She stood there, staring for a moment. He couldn't stay, he had a life to tend to. Dudley things to do. She quickly walked into her kitchen and leaned against the counter, taking a deep breath.  
  
She ignored the tears that fell from her eyes and let out a sigh of relief as the she heard footsteps walking out of her room and the unmistakable squeak that meant someone was walking out of her house.  
  
Trish closed her eyes and let out another breath, this was taking a toll on her, she wanted to tell them, she wanted to run off to find Lita and confide in her, cry and eat ice cream while watching Days of Our Lives or Young and the Restless comparing her life to theirs.   
  
She sniffled and wiped off the counter, trying to find something to do to take the day off her mind. As she reached for the dirty tea cup on the table, a loud thump came from in the direction of the living room, she jumped and dropped the cup, sending it to the floor and breaking into tiny bits.  
  
"What the..."   
  
She maneuvered past the broken glass and stopped in the doorway of her kitchen as she spotted Bubba Ray, in her living room.  
  
With two bags.   
  
"What are those?"  
  
"My stuff."  
  
"And why the hell is it in my living room?"  
  
"Don't worry, I'll move it." He smirked as she seemed to grow agitated again.  
  
"WHY IS IT IN MY LIVING ROOM!?" She screamed, walking into the room, standing right in front of him.  
  
"Like I said, I'm not leaving until you tell me why you left."  
  
No, no, no. This wasn't good, it can't be happening. She absently ran her fingers through her hair and focused on the bags. Bubba Ray couldn't stay here but if she told him, he'd run off, tell Lita, tell Jeff, then the world would know.  
  
"You can't..." She cut herself off as a wave of nausea hit her, she felt dizzy, her hand felt as if someone was banging it against a wall.  
  
"I can't what?"  
  
"You... not supposed..." She clutched her chest as she felt the bile rising in her throat, she groaned and quickly ran up the stairs. She ran as fast as she could to her bedroom, sending a table to the floor as she knocked into it.  
  
She retched but nothing came, she had already done this three times today and she knew that there would be nothing coming. After the first few weeks, it hadn't been so bad, a few times here and there but now this stupid morning sickness was coming on during the day. How could morning sickness come on during the day?  
  
She sat back on her heels and grabbed a handful of toilet paper, wiping her mouth.   
  
"You're too much for me."   
  
She looked down at her stomach, this was her life. Her baby. She really wanted to tell them, talk about how she was so afraid of the idea of her as a mom but her family, they'd know she was a whore.   
  
A baby out of wedlock within a catholic family.   
  
A child conceived under false hopes.   
  
They'd be ashamed, everyone would talk about her again, everyone would watch and laugh some more and she couldn't handle that. She didn't want to end up in a hospital again.  
  
With blood on her hands and not just her own this time.  
  
She leaned against the toilet, trying to regain some footing. No, Bubba Ray couldn't stay, he couldn't find out. This was her only chance to have a family, there could be no other children, just the miracle growing inside of her.  
  
Trish whimpered as her emotions overtook her, she loved them, she wanted Lita more than words could describe, she needed Jeff to bring her chicken soup when she was feeling so well on the days when the kicking got too much.  
  
She cried as she held her stomach, she wanted this baby more than anything in the world but how could she explain all the circumstances around it?  
  
She was a bitch and her baby was a bastard. This wasn't supposed to be how it ended.   
  
The thoughts kept coming inside her mind, the images of her family crying, sending vicious words her way. Trish reached out and flushed the toilet, watching the water swirl down the drain.  
  
She really did throw her life away, for a child. Something that probably would never come her way again.  
  
Trish curled up on the fluffy rug beside her tub, she closed her eyes for a moment and didn't open them again. She lay exhausted, used up. As dreams filled her head, Trish Stratus slept on her bathroom floor, hoping for a better day tomorrow.  
  



	11. Chapter 11

_Aw, all of these reviews. You guys make me feel special! -blushes- Okay on with this. Sorry this took a while to churn out but I've got real life to deal with which sucks, so review if you like or whatever. I'm not sure of this chapter, it's sort of a transition piece and I just want to send a special thank you to lucyzigg who mentioned me in a note on one of her stories, which I highly enjoyed, story, not the note, I mean the note was great too. Okay stopping babbling! Anyway, How kind is that? Man, thanks. All of you, go check out her stories. They're all very good. Anyway, on with it..._  
  
---  
  
"I'm staying."  
  
The alcohol had wore off a bit but he still had a buzz going, a nice soothing buzz but that didn't mean he didn't feel awful about even considering drinking something good, he let her get to him, he let Trish just dig into him like she had done with Lita. And he felt like a fool.  
  
"What?" Jeff rubbed his eyes, looking around the room and searching for his digital watch, his voice was still a bit rough from all the vomiting that Marisino had made him do but he didn't feel as horrible as he once had.  
  
"I'm going to stay, she won't tell me why she left but I'll figure it out, somehow."  
  
Jeff finally found his watch and grabbed the base of the phone, pulling it along as he reached for it. He read the face and sighed at the time : 4:15  
  
"Bubba, we'll have to fix the plane tickets and where will we stay, motels get expensive..."  
  
"I'm not staying at a hotel." He interrupted.  
  
"What? Where are you going to stay then?"  
  
"At Trish's place."  
  
Jeff felt a twinge of jealousy go off inside him, she was going to let someone she didn't even know stay with her?!  
  
"She's letting..."  
  
"No, I'm forcing her to let me stay here." He interjected, he looked up the stairs and listened for any trace of movement but Jeff's screech filled his ear, distracting him for a moment.  
  
"What!?" Jeff immediately regretted yelling when a shooting pain went through his head and he clutched it with his other arm. "Oh god."  
  
"You don't deserve this headache, Jeff, but you let her get to you."   
  
"I know, I know but Bubba..." He stopped as he finally let her words soak in, a junkie. Just a lousy junkie, not her best friend, not her former kissing partner but a junkie.   
  
"Jeff?"  
  
Bubba heard a sob on the other end of the phone and sighed. At the beginning of this whole search, Lita was the only person who could get him but ever since he saw the sight of a sad Jeff, he couldn't help but give him the manly hug, just letting it linger a bit more than usual for guys. Jeff reminded him a lot of his brother, Spike. Tough on the outside but so soft on the inside.   
  
"I'm a junkie and she's right, she's right, Bubba. I'll never be a wrestler again and I'm worthless to..."  
  
"Hey, don't you say that. Ever again, you hear me? I'm serious, Jeff. You made a mistake, lots of people do. Maybe I'm making a mistake trying to stay here but I have to try." He harshly whispered.  
  
He sniffled, brushing away the tears with the back of his hand. "What am I going to tell Lita? That she's alive and doesn't care about us and that one of her only friends is going to stay behind and just forget about her?"  
  
"Jeff, I'm not forgetting her, okay? Don't ever accuse me of that."  
  
"Why are you staying then? To get dumped on? Have her call you a fat loser?" He yelled, getting frustrated.  
  
"Jeff, I have to help." He said, moving away from the stairs and into the kitchen, taking a look around this room as well, his eyes drifted from tiny roosters sitting on top of a cabinet.  
  
"Help at home, come back. Let her be, Bubba. She doesn't want help." Jeff pleaded, he could feel the tears rising up again and tried to hold them back.  
  
"I've got to try."   
  
Jeff sighed. Why the hell should he care? He should care about Lita, damn it. Not someone who treated his best friends like garbage.  
  
"Fine." He spat, venom filling his voice. "Stay there, become best friends with her, braid her stupid hair. I don't care but Bubba Ray Dudley, I am not going to tell Lita that you're staying. You are. I'm not going to break her heart like that."  
  
Bubba frowned, never in the past few hours had he thought that this would break Lita's heart or hurt her in any way, sure, she would miss him but her heart broken?  
  
"Jeff..."  
  
"I'm going now. Be sure to cancel your plane ticket and bring in the van so you won't be charged extra. Goodbye." He replied curtly, before slamming the phone down onto the receiver.  
  
Bubba growled when he heard that telltale click on the other end. He flipped his phone closed and settled against the counter. Would this just drive a wedge between the friends who had become some of his best in a couple of months? Would Trish really admit to what happened that made her run so far?  
  
There were so many more questions and so many possible answers that it made Bubba's head hurt so.  
  
He glanced out the kitchen window above her sink and sighed, he watched the sky in wonder, he had never seen so many stars in the sky before. He smiled at the sight but inside he wondered if he was doing the right thing. Only time would tell.  
  
Jeff glanced at the phone in his hand and let out a cry as he hurled it out into the dark, he winced when the sound of plastic breaking hit his ears.   
  
Why the hell did he go and say those things? Was he afraid of Bubba getting hurt or something else?   
  
Maybe it was because he wasn't the one that was going to help. After all, he was just a junkie.   
  
---  
  
Her head was throbbing and her body ached as she slowly woke, the cold tile floor chilled her skin so much that she was shivering as she sat up, half of her body was tangled in the rug and the rest had slept on the white tile, she still felt so tired, so worn out.   
  
It was still dark outside as she pulled herself up from the floor, she clung to the sink as she tried to steady herself, she glanced up at her reflection in the mirror and sighed. She looked like crap, her hair was filled with little fuzz from the rug and her the dark circles under her eyes made her seem even more haggard than she felt.   
  
It wasn't a dream, Bubba was here. She had dreamed a beautiful dream filled with friends filled with excitement over her baby with baskets filled with the essentials that a new mom would want.   
  
She smiled at the picture in her head, she wanted it to be that way. A whole family involved with a tiny miracle, they would dress up in pink and parade around the world showing off how cute they were together but it wouldn't happen that way.  
  
Trish remembered what happened when her cousin got pregnant at twenty, she was ushered off to a facility and forced to give her baby away. Even though she was an adult, there were some things that you had to do in the Stratus family. You had to live up to an ideal, marriage, children. Always in that order, no other way.  
  
Otherwise, there were consequences to deal with.  
  
Trish shook her head lightly and turned on the water, she splashed her face and took a giant breath. She didn't want to go downstairs, she didn't want to face this. Hiding was so much better, yes, she was a coward but being a coward meant she didn't have to face the truth.  
  
She slowly opened her bathroom door and stepped out into her bedroom, it was quiet, the kind of quiet that always happened before the storm, she grabbed the robe from the top of her bed and made her way to the bedroom door, she poked her head out, the table that had been knocked over in a haste to get to her bathroom was back up against the wall.  
  
She tiptoed down her staircase and sneered at his bags, they now sat against the couch, sitting there, being bags. She'd never thought she'd hate a pair of suitcases so much, hell, she'd never thought she'd ever hate an inanimate object so much but they represented something more.   
  
The truth.  
  
Pesky little truth. She continued to tip toe over to the couch, making sure she was quiet as possible, she was able to see with the help of the small night light off in the corner that there was a folded up blanket in the middle of the couch. She cursed as silently as she could, she didn't wanna face him so early, she wanted to have the upperhand.  
  
She walked into her kitchen, trying to look as casual as she could, she didn't want another yesterday, she expected to find him sitting at the kitchen table, eating all her crap but she was surprised when she didn't find Bubba there either.  
  
"Where the hell could he be?" She whispered.  
  
And then she spotted him, outside on her deck, on her porch swing, just sitting there and staring out into space. She walked closer to the window, hoping that he wouldn't see her, she studied his face for a moment. She had never been close to Bubba, he had been very professional with her during their angles and matches. He was always so happy joking with Spike or Lita, making all the guys laugh. But now he just looked different.  
  
Tired would be a good word, maybe even sad. She wondered what he was thinking about, usually she'd go right up to someone and ask but she knew the conversation would result in a barrage of questions directed at her so she kept quiet and continued to watch him from afar.  
  
---  
  
The view from her deck was really spectacular, past the property there was a small river and it seemed like it was something out a book, something so quiet, so beautiful, so delicate that it could only be real in the pages of a great American novel.  
  
This really was Mayberry, it had been a joke, just a simple joke but after reading an old local paper that was sitting on her kitchen counter and glancing at the headline of the day, "Firefighters save kittens from tree."   
  
He shook his head in disbelief, back in his town, murder number seventy five, a local rape would be plastered all over the newspaper but here, the local festival for the town founding was just around the corner made big news on page two.  
  
He knew that this was a place Trish probably found and knew she couldn't leave because of the charm, the beauty but the cynical side of his brain also thought about the ideas that probably went through her mind. How she would never be found, how no one would ever be able to track her down with a fake name in a tiny piss ant town in the middle of one of the most populous state in the union.  
  
He kept his eyes on the line of trees but he noticed movement off to the side, it was Trish. Watching him from the window in the door, he glanced over, making sure she didn't noticed him looking back at her.  
  
Bubba moved his eyes away from her and back to the view but she was still there in his head, he didn't know why he took such a drastic step to get her to admit why she ran, he was just frustrated with her. All the things that had went down with Jeff and Lita, something had to be seriously wrong with Trish for her to push away her friends so violently.  
  
He would need to make a few calls to Lita to handle his bills, make sure she informed Spike and D'Von of his move before he could talk to them in detail about what was happening, go back to the motel and check in on Jeff, make sure he was sober and smack him for even putting a drop of alcohol on his lips but he was staying, it wouldn't be an empty threat. He would follow this through.  
  
He would make her fess up to what happened, if he had to be the most annoying man on the planet he would, if it meant he had to give everything he had to make her tell him. He would. What else could he do? Sit home and console a heartbroken Lita, try to pry a bottle out of Jeff Hardy's hand?   
  
Staying with Trish would be a welcome distraction, no matter how much venom she spewed at him, it would still be the most amazing experience to see her alive, talking, walking. Doing all the things that they thought they'd ever see her do again.  
  
His thoughts came to a halt when he noticed a lamp in her kitchen come to life, filling the room with a warm glow. She had finally let herself be known, he got up and grabbed the knob and twisted.  
  
It was locked.  
  
"Open the door, Trish." He yelled, banging his hand on the window. She turned and laughed, a smile crossing his features.   
  
"Oh, who, me? Are you taking to me?" She asked, feigning innocence. God damn it, why did she have to be so angelic when she was being such a smart ass?   
  
"Who the hell else am I talking to?"  
  
"Hm, you've got a point." She tapped her chin, looking thoughtful for a moment before ripping open the silver package in her hands.  
  
"Open the door." He stated, trying to remain calm.   
  
"No, I don't have to." She smiled as she took a bite of her cold pop tart.  
  
"I will smash this window in and open the door." He warned, his fist poised to follow through.  
  
"I have an alarm system, if you do, cops will come and take you away and then you'll meet a charming man down at the jail, also named Bubba, who will just love making you his wife."  
  
"Okay first of all, you need to stop watching that prison show that Jeff kept talking about and secondly, the cops come, I've got proof that I know you, I'm not breaking in."  
  
"Pft, what proof?" She dismissed him with a wave of the hand.  
  
"Oh, well, besides the missing person's flyers. I've got this."  
  
He pulled out the photo of Trish, Lita and Jeff, and slammed it against the window. Trish jumped at the noise that his hand made and her face fell at the image that was staring back at her. It was the same picture she had taken out of the frame, that last night in Toronto and laid onto her desk. She considered taking it, she spent a full minute deciding whether to take it or leave it behind. And now it was here, right in front of her, just like both of her friends had been.  
  
And now they were gone.  
  
Because of her.  
  
She could feel the tears beginning to well up and he noticed as well, he pulled it away from the window and slipped it back into his pocket.  
  
"Please, Trish."  
  
Trish sniffled but held back the tears from falling, she made her way to the door, unlocking it and turning her back to him, going back to the kitchen counter and trying to find something to busy herself with.  
  
"Trish..."  
  
"Just leave me alone." She shot back, not turning to face him. She was rubbing furiously at a stain that had been there the day she got there.  
  
"I can't."  
  
She ignored him, focusing on the stain, she rubbed harder with the kitchen towel.  
  
"Trish!" He yelled, grabbing her arm.  
  
"Why? I asked it once before, Bubba. Why do you care?" She cried, pulling away from his reach and finally facing him, her eyes locked with his.  
  
Bubba averted his gaze and considered her question for a moment and couldn't find the answer besides that feeling in the back of his head, telling him to do so. "I'll tell you when you answer why you left."   
  
"Then I guess you'll be here for a while."   
  
"I guess so."  
  
---  
  
Victoria watched as Trish sat on the edge of her couch, her body was shaking and she was gripping the edge of the cushion, her nails digging into the fabric.  
  
"So, wait, that guy with the freaky colored hair and the big one that I saw pounding on your door, are your old friends?" She asked, watching Trish as she bounced her knee.  
  
"Yes, oh god, Vic, he's not leaving. He's going to find out, he's going to go run and tell everything to everyone." She whispered, desperately trying to figure anything out, she was being thrown off her game and she was having a hard time finding her way back.  
  
"You can't just run away, Patricia. You've already done it and they obviously cared enough about you to find you, halfway across the country. They'll do it again and again and again. You're getting bigger by the day, you can't hide it."  
  
Trish glanced at her friend, god damn there was that truth again, popping up, always spoiling her plans.  
  
"Why don't you just kick him out, call the police?"  
  
Trish ran her hands through her hair, cursing as her ring got caught in one of the strands.   
  
"Because, unh, they put out a missing person's alert on me. If I do go, then the cops will stop looking for me and every stupid internet reporter and fan will show up on my doorstep." She let out a grunt as she yanked her hand down, pulling a few hairs out of her head.  
  
Victoria winced as she watched her drop a few strands of brown hair onto her carpet.  
  
"You're going to have to calm down." She said.   
  
"How can I stay calm? He's going to fuck everything up." Trish cried, burying her head in her hands.  
  
"If you don't stay calm, it could hurt the baby."   
  
Trish jerked her head up quickly, she hadn't thought of that. Victoria was right, all the worrying could hurt the baby. Worrying herself sick over this wouldn't make Bubba go away, it would just make her even more exhausted than she already was.  
  
"But what am I going to do?"  
  
Victoria shrugged slowly. "Maybe you'll have to tell him."  
  
Trish shook her head slowly, there had to be a better option. Just had to be. "Maybe, I don't know. The doctor said I'll probably start really showing in a month so I guess I'll have to figure out what the hell I'm going to do in that time. "  
  
"Why are you so afraid to tell, is it just because of your parents or is it..."  
  
"No!" She snapped, quickly grimacing as she saw the look of shock on Vic's face.   
  
"I'm sorry. When I tell him, everyone will find out, my family, my former coworkers and the baby's father. And he'll come back and just... I don't know what he'll do but it's bad, he's cocky and he's always trying to hurt people."  
  
Victoria nodded and took this in. "Why don't you just ask him not to?"  
  
"Not to what?"  
  
"Not say anything about the baby. Your blue haired friend knows that you're alive and he can tell that girlfriend of yours and only you guys can know that you're found and only Bubba can know that you're pregnant, for now, at least. Do you think you can trust him?"  
  
"I don't know. I don't think so, I think he would go running to his best friend and just blab to her."  
  
Victoria sighed and leaned back against the couch cushions. "Well, I don't know what to tell you."  
  
"I don't know either."  
  
They settled into the silence until they heard a loud banging coming from outside, they heard a curse and then some more banging. Victoria walked over to the picture window and signaled for Trish to come over to.  
  
There was Bubba, in the mid-afternoon sun trying to fix her fence with a hammer and an angry look on his face. They both winced as he sent the hammer flying towards the board and he screamed in frustration, throwing both the broken piece of fence and the hammer to the ground.  
  
"Okay, now I understand the dilemma. I'd be afraid too." Victoria said, laughing weakly while Trish kept her eyes on the man in her yard.  
  
"Yeah. I'll be back, probably."  
  
Victoria nodded, watching Bubba pick up the fence again. "Oh hey, give me a call for anything, you know I'm here for whatever."  
  
"Thanks" Trish smiled and slipped out her front door, closing it behind her. She straightened her baggy shirt and walked down her friend's steps, slowly, trying to drag it out before having to face him again. She had locked herself in her room after their encounter in the kitchen, she reminded herself to stay calm as she walked over to her fence.  
  
"What are you doing?" She asked, her voice quiet as she leaned over the fence to look at what he was hammering.  
  
"Trying to fix your fence." He said, his voice wasn't cold or angry, it just had nothing in it, something that Trish always hated, no matter who it was, be it a man who was barging in on her home, trying to find out her greatest secrets or her best friend.  
  
"I think Victoria has a drill..."  
  
"Is that her name?"  
  
"Huh?" She asked, her brow knitting in confusion.  
  
"Your new best friend." He grunted as he swung the hammer down, trying to knock the nail down into place on the hinge but the nail fell out of the hinge and the metal came slamming down onto the wood. She winced as Bubba cursed again.  
  
"She's not my best friend, she's just been there for me. You're doing this all wrong, you know."  
  
He rolled his eyes and dropped his materials, standing up and placing his hands on his hips while he raised his eyebrow.  
  
"How do you suggest I do this?"   
  
"You could use a drill."  
  
"I don't want her drill."  
  
He grabbed the fence again and snatched the hammer out of Trish's hand as she was bringing it to him.  
  
"Stop acting like you're five, Bubba." She snapped, he sneered at her which made her angrier. "And where the hell do you get off touching my things?"  
  
"Oh, wow, look who's acting five." He snarked, kneeling back down. "It's not like I went into your panty drawer and rifled through your things. I just went into the toolbox in your kitchen and oh, lo and behold, tools!"   
  
He shoved the nails and hammer in her direction, letting them fall at her feet, she jumped back and moved out of his way, as he walked past her and next to the red van. "I just tried to help but I see that you don't want me to so I'm going to go for a few hours, I have business to attend to."  
  
"Business?" She whispered to herself as he got into the drivers seat.  
  
"Hopefully, you'll still be here when I get back."  
  
And with that, he drove off, heading back down the lane again. She frowned as she picked up the nails and hammer from the sidewalk, she'd call Hank to fix it, he had already been so kind to fix a broken porch rail and a leaking sink.  
  
Trish set the broken fence off to the side and headed up the stairs. She slowly walked back into the living room, giving Bubba's bags a good look before walking past them again, she could still see the van in the distance, getting smaller and smaller with every second.   
  
When she couldn't make it out anymore, she closed the door shut and made a dash for his bags, she dropped to her knees and zipped open the smaller of the bags, it was filled with missing persons papers, different photos, same header, same info, so many different photos.   
  
She set them carefully over to the side and looked through the rest of it, toiletries met her fingers, she made a mental note in her head about their placement and dug deeper her fingers met a smoothness that only reminded her of one thing. Photos.  
  
She pulled them out slowly and gasped when she stared back at the one on top of the small pile.  
  
It was almost identical to the one that she had considered taking in Toronto except Bubba had replaced her. She flipped through the others, a few of a smiling Lita. She was thinner, a lot thinner actually and even though she was smiling, she was definitely tired.   
  
There were some of Jeff, one of him flashing an old Hardy Boyz hand signal that made her smile and one of him, sitting in front of what seemed to be a half a dozen or so phones. _Phone bank._ She frowned when she got to the final picture, another of them, sitting together in Lita's yard, out in the garden.  
  
Had Bubba taken her place? It seemed so in these photos. Could two months really change everything so?  
  
She whipped her head around to the door when she heard the slam of a car door, she shoved everything as carefully as she could back into the bag and by the time Bubba was up by the door, she had hopped up and was steady on her feet when she noticed something. As did he.  
  
She was still holding his bag.  
  
"What are you doing?" He asked, shutting the door behind him, not taking his eye of her.  
  
"I..." She searched for words to come but couldn't find anything besides useful grunts like "Uh" "Gah" and "Bah"  
  
And then it came to her, she didn't know why or how it even got past her lips but it did.  
  
"I was taking them up to your room." _NO!_  
  
"My room?" He asked, skeptical, waiting for her to smart something off about throwing his stuff out of a second story window.  
  
"Guest room, got a small bed in it." _What the hell is wrong with you!?_ She couldn't stop, her mouth kept moving while her brain screamed for her to push him out, do anything but offer up a room.  
  
"Where is it?"  
  
"Second door on the left." She quietly said.  
  
He smiled at her, it was something genuine, something she hadn't seen in a long while and she gave him a polite smile. He watched her for a second, hoping that there would be a flash of the old Trish there. Unfortunately, there wasn't, he gently took the bag from her and grabbed the heavier and larger of the door and descended up the stairs but stopped halfway and turned back to her.  
  
"I'm only here to help, honestly, Trish. I don't mean any harm."  
  
Trish watched him as he turned back and disappeared upstairs. She couldn't believe what she had just pulled out of her ass, what the hell was she thinking, why didn't she just yell and scream and pout? But now she offered him a room and a smile.   
  
All she could think of over and over again, was the same question he had asked her. Why?  
  



	12. Chapter 12

_I'm lame! I know. Gosh, I've been writing but nothing has really stuck for this story. And I've had that writers block on the rest of my stories, so thanks for the reviews and I'd be happy if you reviewed this chapter. Thanks for reading._  
  


---

  
  
Trish couldn't make herself walk up those stairs, she tried, her foot hovering over the bottom step but it felt as if there was an invisible block right under it, not allowing her to rest it on the wood.  
  
She couldn't sleep tonight, her mind was too busy for silly things like resting her body and she knew it was wrong for her to do so but the thoughts kept her from fully finding peace in the covers of her bed.  
  
And the fact that the little bundle of joy was busy doing what could only be called as cartwheels inside her, didn't help matters either. She wondered if it was too early for that, she would make sure to talk to the doctor about it during her next appointment.  
  
She sighed as she settled onto the couch, she grabbed the remote from the coffee table and flipped on the tv, laying back against a cushion, she worked through the channels, wandering aimlessly among the infomercials and sitcom reruns for something to take her mind off of everything.  
  
Her eyes were beginning to grow heavy when she spotted something that caught her breath in her throat.  
  
It was a Pay Per View event, WWE Divas and she glanced at the clock, it was starting in two minutes. She pushed the "INFO" button and read, quietly.  
  
"Watch the beautiful women of Raw and Smackdown as they lounge on the sands of gorgeous Mexican beaches. With a special tribute to Trish Stratus."  
  
Her eyes widened as the last sentence left her lips. Tribute? She clicked "BUY" with her remote and watched as a Thank you popped up on her screen. She turned it to the channel that the message instructed her to do and dropped the remote onto the hardwood floor as soon as the image flickered onto her screen.  
  
It was her, laughing and giggling for the camera, splashing water at another diva she couldn't make out. There was music that filled her ears, the kind of music that was reserved for those "In Memoriam" segments on awards shows.  
  
Trish watched as they showed video footage from her debut, all of it seemed so foreign to her, so far away from everything that she had ever thought about in the past two months. The screen faded to black and she read the words that appeared on the screen slowly.  
  
"We hope that someday we will see you again, laughing and smiling, the way you always used to do."  
  
There was another image of her, this time it was a still picture, black and white, her latest promo photo, one that hadn't been released before her leaving. She heard a voice she had heard in months and gasped when she realized who it was.  
  
Lita.  
  
"If you have any information on the whereabouts of Trish Stratus, please call the..."  
  
Her voice faded into the background as she heard his voice, calling her from behind.  
  
"Trish."  
  
"You guys put a lot into finding me, huh? Did you do a telethon or did you find me in enough time to not have to go to that extreme?"  
  
"Trish..." He walked closer to the couch, watching her as she kept her eyes on divas building sand castles.  
  
"How long have you been there?" She asked.  
  
"Long enough to know that you haven't moved your eyes from that screen, not even for a moment."  
  
Trish sighed and looked up at Bubba, who was still moving slowly over to the couch, watching every expression on her face.  
  
"I'm just tired, Bubba. I was tired of everything and now, I'm just tired of hiding..."  
  
"What are you hiding from?" He asked, he set his hand on the top of the couch and leaned forward a bit.  
  
"I don't want..." She trailed off as she searched for some way around telling him.  
  
"What? To tell me? Everything will be okay, no one will hate you. I'll be here for you, you just have to tell me."  
  
"Fine. Bubba, I'm pre-"  
  
She stopped when she heard sizzling coming from behind her and smelled... bacon?  
  
"What the..." She groaned quietly.  
  
Trish quickly sat up and squinted her eyes from the morning light that was blinding her, there was definitely the smell of bacon filling her living room, her eyes scanned the room for Bubba and that kind look on his face but he was nowhere to be seen.  
  
She looked down at the fleece blanket that covered her and put it all together. It was just a dream, she remembered seeing something on TV about divas and remembering clicking 'BUY'  
  
She pushed the cover off of her and slowly got to her feet, she turned around quickly when she heard the clatter of dishes and a soft swear coming from the kitchen.  
  
She made her way over to the doorway, standing back a bit and watched Bubba pick up some dishes that had fell onto the floor, she glanced at the table and smiled when she spotted a stack of toast and a platter of eggs in the middle of it.  
  
"What are you doing?" She whispered.  
  
"Oh my god." He gasped as he dropped the plates again. "Don't do that!"  
  
She couldn't help but smile a tiny bit as the plates were being picked up again by Bubba. She walked over to him, grabbing a plate that stood in her way and laying it on the counter.  
  
"Sorry, what are you doing?"  
  
"I'm making breakfast." He said, grabbing the last plate from the floor and depositing them into the sink.  
  
"I realize that." She said flatly, moving into the kitchen and leaning against the counter, watching his every move. She still couldn't believe that she had blurted out such an offer to Bubba. She could have said that she was throwing out his bags, that she was going to burn them. Say anything under the sun except for I'm talking them to your room. She shook her head slightly. _I'm such an idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot!_  
  
"Hey..."  
  
Bubba's voice broke her haze, she glanced up at him and down at the plate that he sat before her, it was a plate filled with bacon and eggs. She inhaled and gagged, she noticed recently that anything made before nine seemed to make her gag. She took another look at the food and couldn't face the sight of the grease glistening on the pieces of meat and the yellow mess of scrambled eggs that sat on her plate, staring back at her.  
  
"I think... oh god..."  
  
She cupped her mouth and ran into the living room, turning right and heading down a small hallway, into the small bathroom at the end of the hall.  
  
"You didn't even eat it!" He shouted in disbelief, walking to the doorway of the kitchen, only hearing the sounds of her retching, he shook his head and disappeared back into the kitchen.  
  
"Damn it."  
  


----

  
  
She had been in there for at least twenty minutes before he came knocking, asking her if she was alright, offering her a glass of ice water. She quickly moaned that she was alright before he heard her retch again. Bubba could swear that he heard a soft sob come from the bathroom but he wasn't too sure, so he went back to the kitchen, cleaned up the dishes and made sure everything was back in order.  
  
He grabbed the same glass of ice water by on the counter, adding a few pieces of new ice to the glass and grabbing the plate of crackers he had already grabbed from the cupboard.  
  
Bubba made his way back down the small hallway and knocked gently.  
  
"Trish?"  
  
A moan was the only thing he heard.  
  
"Trish, I'm going to leave some water and crackers by the door. Alright?"  
  
He set the items of food off to the side, making sure that if she forgot about them that they wouldn't be knocked over by her feet. As he raised back up, he carefully listened for anything inside the bathroom. For a minute, he heard nothing and began to worry until a soft cough hit his ears.  
  
"Trish, are you okay?"  
  
"I'm... just sick..." She shouted.  
  
"Alright, um, I'm going to go out and get some more things in order, do you need anything?"  
  
"Juice. Orange. Please." She said before she began gagging again.  
  
"Okay. Trish, are you sure you're alright?"  
  
"Just go!" She cried.  
  
He sighed before turning around and heading back down the hallway. Something just wasn't right, it just didn't sit right with him. And when he usually had bad feelings, the worst scenario always seemed to come true.  
  


---

  
  
Trish was getting sick of the way her body was toying with her emotions. The hormones that was raging through her body was taking a toll on her personality, turning her from polite house welcomer to an angry, bitter bitch in no time.  
  
The past month was miserable for her, she was experiencing the highest of highs and then the lowest of lows. She wondered in the back of her head if she was going crazy but brushed it off when she remembered what the doctor had told her, mood swings are normal.  
  
Yeah, they were normal. She could handle them, alone. Not with someone snooping around, asking her why she was throwing up. What was she hiding in that locked cupboard? Why she kept getting fatter when she couldn't even hold any of her food down?  
  
She didn't know what she was going to do but she was going to have to figure out things fast. Or else... well... she didn't really want to know.  
  


---

  
  
He had waited to come home, until it was dark, hoping that the night would give him time to think about what he had to tell Lita and praying that Lita would be asleep. Jeff Hardy walked into Bubba's living room, he set his bags down on the floor, she wasn't in the living room, he quickly checked the kitchen and was about to head over to the patio when her voice came to him.  
  
"Where is he?"  
  
She was hidden in the shadows, near the fridge. He knew who she was speaking of but really didn't know what to say, how to tell her that her now two best friends weren't coming back.  
  
"He's still out there."  
  
He looked out the screen door and up at the sky, it nearly seemed black tonight. It made him feel suffocated for some reason.  
  
"Why?" She asked quietly, stepping out from her cover of darkness.  
  
"I don't think I should tell you that."  
  
He tensed as her heard the squeak of her boots on the tile floor. "Why is that, Jeff?"  
  
"Because it's his choice and his duty to tell you."  
  
"Tell me what?"  
  
Jeff swallowed and turned to face her. She was wearing the same clothes that she was sporting when they left.  
  
"Jeffrey Nero Hardy, you are testing my patience!" She yelled. "I get no phone call from either of you. I call the motel, you've checked out. I called David Marsino, no answer. I called Bubba and nothing. Don't you think I worry? Don't you think I care about what happened? While you're out there having fun with Bubba and Trish, laughing and giggling, I'm stuck here-"  
  
"She never wants to see us again." He whispered.  
  
Lita stopped her rant and shook her head softly, it couldn't be. It had to be wrong. "No, she's just confused. She's..."  
  
He walked over to her, grabbing her hands in his, letting them sit on his palms.  
  
"Believe me when I tell you this. She doesn't want anything to do with us."  
  
"No! Don't you lie to me, Hardy!" She screamed, pushing him away so hard that he slammed into the kitchen counter.  
  
"I'm not lying to you, Lita!" He cried. "She called me a junkie!"  
  
"What? No, no! She couldn't say that. You must have heard her wrong. Did...did she say anything about me?" She sobbed.  
  
"She didn't say anything about you and I know what I heard" He ran his hands through his hair, trying to think of what to say next.  
  
"This is my best friend..." Lita whispered, not believing that someone like Trish could say such a thing.  
  
"She's not anymore!" He screamed, slamming his fists into the dish drainer, sending a few pieces of silverware across the counter and into the sink. "She hates you. She hates me now. Okay? And Bubba's staying there trying to fix it for some god damn reason."  
  
"He's not coming back?" Lita asked, looking more upset than before.  
  
"He said he would when things were fixed."  
  
She dashed into the living room and grabbed one of the phones set up in the middle of the room.  
  
"What are you doing?"  
  
"Calling him."  
  


---

_Hope you enjoyed, I may add on a little but for right now I decided to give you guys a bite._


End file.
